Roommate anger issues
I had something better/more important to write about when I opened this two hours ago to write, but something just happened that I just feel the need to write about.
So I don’t know what I’ve said of this, but I am now living in a house owned by my friend Megan, and her husband (still sorta an acquaintance to me right now) Shaun, and her sister is also living here. So far, I haven’t been around much because when I’m here, they are all at work and when they are here, I’m at work or school. So we really don’t see too much of each other. When they are here, and I’m here too I do try to get out of my room and spend time with them. Sometimes it’s awkward but sometimes it’s not.
Today I had an interesting experience I didn’t know how to react to though. Obviously, we all have different aspects and personalities when it comes to cleanliness of the house, things being a particular way, etc etc. One thing that Megan did was put a sign on the washer just reminding everyone to clean out the sink next to the washer after washing clothes because all the water that leaves the washer gets dumped into the sink, and there is wet lint and hair build up in a hair trap at the drain. I had no problem with this as I was unaware that this is what happens. They are pretty clean when it comes to the living room space and whatnot, which I am too, so no problem. I know I’m more anal about dishes than they are, so I did the dishes by hand a lot when they all piled up and the dishwasher was yet broken. I had no problem with it, though I was a little annoyed sometimes by people not actually rinsing out stuff that was caked on. I didn’t say much about it though, except Shaun mentioned that Megan is bad at rinsing dishes and I just commented that I knew. I also know that my room is usually messy, but it’s my own space and I try to keep up with it…and I’ve noticed that her sister is very neat, and even in their bedroom, they leave the bed unmade and stuff laying around. No biggie.
Well today, Shaun came home, and I was in the kitchen skyping with Justin and talking to someone else since I felt that if the dog was going to be out (their dog was barking ALL morning while she was in her crate so I let her out to pee and then let her just hang out around the house since I was home). He came in the kitchen and seemed pissed off…he opened the fridge a little hard, which led to the door smacking into a wall into the wall, and one of the drawers on the door wasn’t so sturdy so the whole drawer fell, along with a lot of other things. He gets mad and almost throws a soda at the counter top, which would’ve been a LOT worse…soda would’ve sprayed everywhere. I think he thought of that just before he let go because he stopped. Then he put the things back on the shelf or drawer or whatever, fairly roughly and slammed the fridge door shut again. Well guess what, same thing fricken happened. The first time around I had said "good one" to sorta lighten the air, but it made it worse and he just sorta glared at me and said "don’t". Then he finally picked up the stuff and put it back in the fridge and shut it normally. Then he goes and sees that i left the 3 seasons room door open. I had left it open when I let their dog out, and he started sorta scolding me about that and how leaving the door open lets heat into the house, and we are wasting electricity on air conditioning trying to cool it down. I realize that was a mistake, and I apologized..but then he just kept going on. And I just thought "okay I get it!" I just gathered up my stuff and went downstairs, though it was after HE had gone downstairs…but I just felt like I shouldn’t be in the house, you know? It made me feel like I really SHOULD just stay in my room, and that’s it. It made me feel like I can’t be out and about around the house doing things, that I should just confine myself to my room and my space down here.
I was kind of afraid of living here because….this is their first house they bought together. It is a 4 bedroom house though, and I know the money I’m contributing is helping pay their bills, so there’s no problem there. But there’s a different dynamic when you are living at someone else’s place, of which THEY own it completely, and you are simply living there verses sharing an apartment or a space with a roommate where you both contribute equally and the space is equally "owned" by you. I know that having a contract between us will/would help, and we were supposed to make one. I wasn’t worried about it before because I know that I am going to pay rent and help pay utilities, but after this I feel like there should be one put in place.
This also makes me wish I had my own place too. I’m sick of the roommate deal. I really want my own space…my own cooking space, my own fridge, my own living space, etc. I have some of that here, but it’s not the same when it’s owned by someone else.
Anywho, i hope things get better. I’m thinking maybe he just has some anger/temper issues. If he’s mad or had a bad day at work, he can act out violently in general and sorta direct it onto others. Again…this is why I feel like maybe I should just keep to myself. I don’t want to do that because I feel like it’s rude and hermit-ish, but right now, I really don’t feel like being yelled at like I would if I was living at home….and even then my parents wouldn’t talk to me the way he did.
*sigh*
we have volleyball tonight. That should be interesting.