I’m back!

So I’m back from our two week trip to Florida. We had an amazing time and I’ll write all about it in another entry. Right now I’m still trying to get back to normal; after being awake for 35 hours straight and trying to get used to the five hour time difference, I just slept for 13 hours straight and today I have to unpack, go grocery shopping, go to the bank to change my remaining $ into £ and other things.

I just need to get something off my chest. Before we went away we were worried that someone was checking out the house to break in as we found the back gate open a couple of times, which is locked from the inside, and a builder’s glove that isn’t ours. So we gave a key to Jay’s mam just so she could pick up the post, open and close the curtains, that’s it. Well, we should have known that wouldn’t be all she would do. Here is a small list of things we’ve found so far.

* Completely hacked the privet hedge at the front so that there are NO LEAVES left on it and it’s just a bunch of twigs. Jay called her to ask about it and she just said “Why would you want to grow it?” Why the hell would we just want a bunch of twigs in the front?? We’ve been trying to grow that hedge for a year after it was chopped back for the estate agent photos and now we have to start all over again.

* Completely chopped back ALL THE PLANTS in the back garden so we also just have a bunch of twigs back there too. Winter is depressing enough as it is without the garden just being full of twigs. We already told her we like it running a bit wild, it makes it more interesting, when she had a go at us for “Ruining a perfectly good garden”. Really? So you think having a bunch of twigs is a “perfectly good garden”? Plus we have a sparrow colony which are quite rare these days and you’re supposed to encourage them. But now she’s hacked back the trees where they live so I’m worried they’ll find somewhere else to live.

* Invited various family members over to help her hack away our garden and clean the house. Seriously?? We give her a key and trust her with it and she invites other people around while we’re not in? It’s not that I don’t trust her family, I would feel the same whoever it might have been. An invasion of privacy is what it is.

* My tomato plants are in the back garden. I specifically asked her not to try and move them or even touch them, because they are delicate and have heavy stems which snap easily as they’re full of heavy fruit. While they were all hacking our garden to bits, not only did they move all the plants so loads of stems snappedi off, complete with young tomatoes that aren’t ready, but loads of other parts of the plants have been trampled, young fruit and all. So six months of careful nurturing by me has been completely ruined.

* Inside the house, she’s cleaned everything, top to bottom. Including IN OUR BEDROOM such as my bedside table and the bathroom cabinet. COME ON! You don’t go in people’s bedrooms, you don’t rearrange their bedside table and you don’t go rummaging in their bathroom cabinet. They are PRIVATE SPACES and I feel like I’ve been invaded. The whole house stinks of bleach, which is a smell I hate. Also, I try to be environmentally responsible where I can and don’t use too many chemicals, and now it’s all over the house. Sure, our house isn’t sterile, but it’s clean enough. But this isn’t good enough for her, it’s sterile all the way.

* While she was sweeping everything off the mantlepiece, she lost my last two nose studs which were on there. Some of my make up has disappeared from the bathroom, including the lid of my brand new eyeliner.

* Done a load of laundry, I have no idea where it came from. She’s washed the towels in the bathroom, which I only just washed the day before we went on holiday. She washed the tablecloth which I also only just washed the week before and haven’t used since. There are also some clothes in the basket, including underwear, and I have no idea where they came from as the laundy basket was empty when we went away.

* Made the bed, which I deliberately left free of bedclothes to give the mattress chance to breathe for a couple of weeks. We only have one pillow each, but we now magically have two. Our bedclothes and spare pillow are kept inside a box inside a cupboard, so she must have gone rummaging around looking for them.

* Unplugged a lamp which we had on timer to come on every evening to make it look like we were in, and we TOLD HER about it.

* Plugged in an air freshener which smells of Christmas and I was saving for Christmas, but it’s been switched on for the entire two weeks and is now empty. It wasn’t cheap, and now I have to buy another.

* Lots of other little bits and pieces like throwing out my rubber gloves and sponges which I keep for as long as possible, again for the environment. Emptied the bags out of ALL THE BINS, which were all clean and empty so I have no idea why she’s done this, and hung carrier bags of rubbish on the door handles. Left an ashtray full of cigarette ends and rainwater on our garden table. Left rubber gloves all over the house. Bought us a toilet brush, which I hate as you’re just harvesting toilet bacteria on it. I use one of those flushable Toilet Duck things instead. Moved things, little things, which I don’t notice until I go to look for them.

All of these might seem like small things, and I know she was trying to help, but I am absolutely FURIOUS.
One because I feel like my personal space has been invaded; her being in our bedroom, rummaging in cupboards and cabinets. Inviting other people round while we weren’t here.
Two because she’s changed things that she doesn’t like, even though we told her that’s how we do things, despite the fact that it’s OUR LIVES and not hers.
Three because it makes me feel inadequate, that things aren’t good enough and clean enough for her, so she does it for us.

I cannot begin to describe how ANGRY I am right now. We have to go and see her later to pick up my birds that she’s been looking after, which I am grateful for, but I don’t know what I’m going to say. I’ll just have to bite my tongue; Jay says she’ll only tell us we’re being ungrateful otherwise. He’s told me I’m overreacting, that she did all this out of the kindness of her heart. No she didn’t, because she’s done things I specifically asked her not to. She’s done it to be controlling and to make a point. One thing is for certain, she is NEVER EVER having a key EVER AGAIN. She was only supposed to pick up the post, move the curtains and check we hadn’t been burgled THAT WAS ALL! Am I being unreasonable? Should I be grateful?

Anyway, I’ll just finish this with a list I was mentally making up while on holiday.

Things I will miss about Florida/ USA
* Butterfingers.
* Cherry Vanilla Coke.
* Cherry Dr. Pepper.
* People complimenting you when they like your hair/ hat/ shoes
* The heat; the fact that it’s hotter when you go outside instead of the other way around.
* Excellently managed roads so there are no traffic jams.
* Hundreds of cute little lizards skittering around everywhere.

Things I will not miss about Florida/ USA
* Overly attentive waiting staff who keep asking you every two minutes if everything is ok and trying to have conversations with us while we just want to eat.
* Having to leave enormous tips because minimum wage in the USA is pitifully low and they rely on the customers paying their wages instead of their employers.
* Tax not being added on until you get your bill/ get to the till so you can’t work out how much you’ve spent and have the money ready.
* Mosquitoes; I have no less than eight bites on my legs which have all swollen up and become incredibly itchy and painful.
* The lack of regular towns where you can just walk, instead of having to drive along enormous roads just to go to the shop next door.
* The fact that you can’t buy ready made sandwiches, individual packets of crisps or normal bacon, only streaky.

Mainly though, I really enjoyed it and would go back right now if I could. But it’s back to work tomorrow, I’ll regale you all with a hugely long entry about it all very soon. Hope everyone is well :o)