It Sure Feels Warm…

I should be working right now, but I’m having a difficult time focusing today.  I’m not really sure why.  Maybe it’s because today’s the first time in quite awhile that I’ve felt relieved and not under any pressure.  I don’t feel the desire to bury myself with work to take my mind off of unpleasant domestic matters.

After the instant messaging fiasco yesterday morning, I assumed the evening would be chock full of bickering and squabbles.  Fortunately, it wasn’t.  Bobby had locked himself in the spare bedroom long before I got home from work.  I had already smoked two cigarettes and watched the Fashion Police Golden Globes Edition by the time he came out.  He was quiet at first (as was I), but he finally asked me how my day went.  I just responded with, "Fine."  After several more uncomfortable seconds of silence, he revealed that he’d really like to be my friend but that he doesn’t think I can be his.  I never talk to him anymore.  I explained to him that I do want to remain friends, but that I can’t talk to him right now.  Every single time we try to have a conversation, he pushes and pushes for me to feel things that I don’t feel.  He admitted that it’s a defensive response, and he apologized. 

So, we talked.  We sat down and talked like two close friends that hadn’t seen each other in a week.  It was nice to  not feel pressured.  We talked about our day, what it will be like dating again, what the drive home will be like for him, where he’s going to live and work when he gets back to Chattanooga.  Yes, he’s decided for sure to move back to Tennessee.  At first, I wanted him to take this opportunity to try and make a life in a place he loves.  I didn’t realize, though, just how much he needs to be around friends and family.  Some people can cope with being away from everything they know, and some people can’t.  Bobby falls into the latter category.  He’ll probably head out Saturday for the nineteen hour drive home.  I think it’s for the best.

In other news, Tammy has officially kicked Jeremy out of their home, but she’s having trouble getting him to agree to a divorce.  They just bought a house last year, and Tammy desperately wants to be able to keep it.  She’s just not sure that she can afford it on her own.  Jeremy wants to offer up a set amount of money each month because he doesn’t want her to get a roommate.  He’s sees that as "permanent," and he really believes their relationship can survive.  According to him, they just need some time apart so all of their troubles can subside.  Tammy’s response was, "I don’t want someone who only loves me when there’s not problems."  Good for her.

On the upside, if she’s not able to keep/afford the house, she’s planning to move here.  It would be awesome to have one of my best friends living in the same city again.  Plus, not only is her best friend in Colorado, but her brother (the only one she’s close to) and sister-in-law live here, too.  I’ve actually met Stephanie.  She and I went out one night just before Thanksgiving, and she’s an absolute doll.  Shane just recently got back from Iraq.  That’s the only reason I haven’t hung out with her more recently.  He was away for over a year, so I know she’s been a little… tied up.  But I digress.

Let’s see.  What else?  Oh, I’m thinking that I might have to go out and celebrate this weekend because I got a raise!  My supervisor told me that getting "exceeds expectations" on a review is a rarity.  She said that she’ll be happy to tell my bro that I’m everything he said I would be.  That’s really awesome to hear.  It’s always a little nerve wrecking when a close friend or family member puts in a good word for you to a potential employer.  If you get the job, the last thing you want to do is let that person down.  My first review was a success, though, and I couldn’t be more pleased!

I emailed my mom, dad, and brother just after lunch.  I said, "It’s pretty bad when it’s 35 degrees outside, but you take your coat off because it sure feels warm…"  Mom immediately replied that it’s nice to see that my sense of humor has returned.  Apparently, I haven’t had much of a funny bone since all of this relationship drama began.  Fear no more.  My light-hearted, happy self has returned!

On a side note, I have come to the conclusion that it’s completely impossible to wash my hands in the restroom sink without dripping water on the countertop.  Random, I know.

Cheers,
Felina