The End

An era of what once was relationship bliss has come to an inevitable end.  After the rollercoaster of emotion on Friday, Bobby and I had yet another long talk that evening.  Though Alsie’s message only reinforced things that I had already told him on more than one occasion, I think it kind of smacked him in the head that my intimate, loving feelings toward him are gone — and are not coming back.  I’m not happy in this relationship with him, and no amount of therapy or new job or behavioral changes on his part are going to make me long for him to touch me and hold me and love me again.  I don’t often give second chances, and it’s not because I don’t truly believe that people can change.  Given the right circumstances, a person can better themselves and their lives and make significant sacrifices for a relationship.  However, once I’ve seen the darker side of my partner, I typically become a flight risk.  I admit that.

I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve been forced to deal with alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse.  The is the first time I’ve ever been faced with someone else’s psychological problems.  Apparently, I wasn’t prepared for it.  Perhaps I’ll never be capable of handling or accepting this kind of situation, and personally, I hope I never have to find out if I can.  This is just not my cup of tea.

The breakup itself was typical, I suppose.  Neither of us got angry.  We never fight — never have.  He was, however, frustrated and cynical at first.  That’s to be expected.  He made a few catty remarks and left for awhile to clear his head.  I stuck in a DVD, and he showed up about an hour later.  Every once in awhile, we’d pause the video and talk some more.  He went through an entire range of emotions that night, but everything ended peacefully.  We’re getting along fine, and he’s accepted that this just isn’t going to work.  He’s even been honest with his friends and family about why we’re splitting up, which I deeply appreciate.

I’ve agreed to let Bobby stay here in my apartment for a couple of weeks.  He starts his new job tomorrow morning, so he wants to make sure it’s going to work out and that he’s going to be happy here before he signs a lease for his own place.  I understand that.  I know he really loves living in the mountains.  He’s always wanted to move back to an area like this, and Chattanooga wasn’t his favorite place.  He misses his friends, but I’ve tried to explain to him that once he starts working and getting out of the house some, he’ll make some new ones.  I didn’t know anyone here when I moved, either.  None the less, I’d hate to see him cower up and head back to Tennessee because of this situation.  I do care about him, and I’d rather see him take this opportunity to turn his life around and start anew in a place that he truly loves.

I’m not in the slightest sad about how this has turned out.  I think that’s saying something — that this is the right decision.  Had he and I continued a long distance relationship after I moved and ended up getting married before living together, it could have been disastrous!  I’m thankful that I was given the opportunity to witness his addictions before he proposed.

Enough of that.  In other news, Tammy and Jeremy are getting a divorce.  It happened so long ago, I can’t remember if I ever even mentioned Jeremy’s brief (so we thought) adultery.  A little over a year ago, Jeremy worked as a guard at Nashville Women’s Prison.  During employment, Jeremy had an affair with — get this — a prison inmate.  When all of this first came to light, Tammy was angry but accepting.  She wanted to save her marriage, not only for her own sake, but for her son’s, as well.  Their relationship since hasn’t been great, but it’s at least been peaceful.

Fast forward to December.  After a couple of months of Jeremy acting like a dick, Tammy started becoming more resentful of his past actions.  They began fighting once again, and they mutually decided to separate.  She even stopped wearing her wedding ring.  Friends began to notice the missing band from her finger, and Tammy finally spilled the beans about Jeremy’s infedelity.  Well, I’ll be damned if Rhett wasn’t watching CourtTV last week and saw an episode about what goes on behind bars at Nashville Women’s Prison.  Profiled on the show… Jeremy’s prison bitch.  He wasn’t just having an affair with this woman.  He was planning a life with her when she got out!

First of all, let me just say that this chick was skanky.  She talked about how she and the guard were planning to move to Romania to live in a castle when she was released.  She talked about how she put on makeup every single day to look nice for him.  Tammy was in denial that Rhett had just witnessed the chronology of her husband’s unfaithfulness on cable television — until Rhett located the clip on the CourtTV website and sent her the link.  On the show, the inmate showed one of the pictures the guard had drawn for her to the camera.  As soon as Tammy saw it, she knew it was Jeremy’s work.  She sat next to him and watched him draw that fucking picture every day until it was finished.  She even showed it to me while visiting her over the summer.  Tammy was devastated.  Her only comfort after seeing this was that the TV show did not disclose his name.

Fast forward again to this morning.  After several unwanted sexual advances from Jeremy at about four o’clock this morning (Tammy had just gotten home from work at Graham), the two of them got into a horrendous fight.  It went on for about two hours.  Finally, she told him that he either needed to switch to the night shift so she never had to see him or he needed to get out.  As he packed a bag, she told him to come back in a few hours to pick up their son.  He wakes up around 8am, and it already being 6am, she’d need more sleep.  He didn’t show up until 4:30 this afternoon.  Jeremy picked up Landon to go to his parents, so Tammy decided to call Blanche (Jeremy’s stepmother) to warn her about the situation.  This is where it gets even better.  Blanche informed Tammy that several of her friends have called to ask if Jeremy had an affair with a prison inmate.  It’s all over the local news — name and everything!  Not only that, Jeremy is now under investigation for a federal offense since he was still employed at the prison when the affair began.  Brilliant.  Tammy is not only devastated.  She’s now mortified.

Endings or beginnings.  I guess you can look at it either way.  I prefer the latter.  When I go back to Nashville (leaving on Valentine’s Day, no less), we’re not only throwing a birthday party, we’re throwing a divorce celebration!  Guess I better start looking for a baker.  Maybe I’ll channel Shanna Moakler for the design…

Cheers,
Felina