Let’s Be Frank

Blasted OD!  I just typed an entire entry, hit the wrong button, and deleted the whole fucking thing.  It’s a damn good thing I’m not busy today!  I swear my life has been a hectic — make that manic — rollercoaster lately.  I don’t know where all of my free time has gone.  I have lots to talk about today, but I’ll try to be at least a little brief so this doesn’t turn into a monster of an entry.  If it does, however, I’m putting the juicy stuff at the end so you have to read the whole damn thing!  Muah, hah, hah….

First of all, kidney stones suck!  And I don’t even think mine was that big.  When it first hit me, I thought I was going to die at work.  I was restless and shaking and sweating.  I can’t tell you how many times Lisa, my coworker, looked over at me and said, "Are you okay over there?"  Kidney stones (well, kidney problems in general) run in my family, and my Mom has had them several times.  When I got home from work that day, I described my symptoms to her.  She just sighed and said, "Honey, you are experiencing your first kidney stone."  The sharp pains were too bad for me to sit still, so we went to the gym anyway.  I’m pretty sure that I passed it shortly after returning home.

Speaking of the gym, I’ve lost 12 pounds since the Monday after the Thanksgiving holiday.  Yay, me!  I can’t wait to buy some new clothes, but I’m going to hold off until I slim down just a tad more.

On December 9th (wow, I really haven’t written in a long time), we had our office Christmas party.  We had dinner at this horrible Italian place that served Greek food.  Yeah, explain that one to me.  However, I actually had a pretty good time.  The owner of my company made me sit next to him, and he kept telling me that I was a wonderful addition to the group.  I’m sure he says that to everyone, but it’s still nice to hear.  He kept my two wine glasses (one red, one white) filled to the rim all night.  By the time the party was over, I was pretty much hammered.  I’m hoping and praying that I didn’t say anything too stupid.  I do remember Janet, the president and the owner’s wife, calling me the ‘tattooed lady’ as we said our goodbyes.  I’m still wondering what that was about…

After dinner, several of us girls went downtown to the Chattanooga Billiards Company (CBCs).  I can’t even begin to tell you how much I drank while playing pool.  I looked at my receipt the next morning, and I had spent 58 bucks on alcohol.  Yeah, I wasn’t feeling too hot that day.  Later that morning, one of my coworkers and I were text-messaging back and forth.  Before ending the ‘conversation’, she sent a message that said, "I had a good time last night.  The best part was hanging out with you outside of work."  I thought that was a little weird.  Oh, well.

The next weekend was pretty uneventful.  The same cannot be said of last weekend.  Friday night was the finals for that karaoke contest I managed to end up in during a drunken stupor.  I don’t know if it was the full moon or the contest, but the Depot was absolutely packed!  Mom and I had to wait thirty minutes just to get a table and another thirty to get waited on.  We finally got seated in a tight spot at the corner of the lone pool table in the joint.  Several guys hogged the pool table most of the night.  However, one of them was well-dressed, quite funny, and bore a striking resemblance to the Rock.  So not kidding.

Soon, Mom and I got to move to a bigger table, and they announced that they were holding another qualifying round for the contest before actually starting the finals.  That meant that Mom and I had to sit there and wait for several hours before I even got to sing.  I was careful to control my drinking so that I would be better on my game, but I was honestly bored silly.  That is, until the cute guy from the pool game came over.  Just before, I had asked mom how old she thought he was.  We both guessed thirty-ish.  Wrong.  After spending the entire evening chatting, playing pool, and dancing, he asked me out for a date the next night.  It wasn’t until after I accepted that I had the bright idea to ask his age.  Thirty-nine.  Ah, well, I thought.  I need to get out of the house and have some fun.  (By the way, I came in second in the contest.  The scores of me and the girl that won were separated by a mere point.)

About an hour after arriving home that night (around 2:45am), my phone started blasting the theme song to The Exorcist.  Yes, that’s totally my ringtone.  Anyway, I never even considered getting up to answer it.  The next morning, I checked my messages, and the guy had called me… twice.  You could tell he was totally smashed when he called.  He was slurring all of his words, and it was like he was forgetting what he was talking about in the middle of his sentences.  Please don’t tell me thirty-nine-year-olds still drunk dial.  He called me around noon and promptly apologized for his rude cell-phone behavior.  Still, it made me think twice about our date.

But, I went.  We weren’t supposed to meet until 7pm, but he called around 4pm to tell me he was bored.  We rescheduled for an hour earlier.  I wanted to meet him somewhere so I would have a get-away car if need be, but when he was asking me if he could pick me up, Mom smacked me in the arm and said, "Let him come get you!"  *sigh*  At first, I was glad I gave him a chance.  He took me to Los Reyes, and we all know that Mexican is my favorite.  Several of his friends stopped by after we ate, and I really enjoyed hanging out with them.  I actually had a great time.  Oh, and it didn’t hurt that he gushed over my voice, and they made me sing karaoke fifty billion times. 

After the fiesta joint closed at 11pm, we all headed back to the Depot.  A new law was passed last weekend that lets them now stay open until 2am.  We played several games of pool, and I thought we were having a good time.  Suddenly, I hear new guy mouthing off about how everybody in this town wants to take him on.  He kept asking, "Why does everybody want to fight me?"  I laughed at him, told him to grow up, and calmed him down.  Before I know it, he’s grabbing me by the arm and dragging me out of the bar!  He apologized when we got outside and told me that if we hadn’t have left, he would’ve ended up in a fight.  It was at this point that I realized just how belligerently drunk he was.  I snatched his truck keys from him and told him he wasn’t driving me anywhere!

Considering that I still don’t have a clue how to get around Dalton, what choice did I have but to follow his directions home.  Of course, his directions home were to his home.  He must be making pretty good money.  Huge house, three vehicles, a boat — and that’s only what I saw.  Down in his basement, he has a fully working bar, massive flat screen televis

ion with theater sound, pool table, gym… I thought I’d just hang around long enough for him to sober up and drive me home.  Boy, was I wrong.

I started racking up the pool balls, when homeboy picks me up and sits me on the table.  He grabbed my face, and we ensued with a massive makeout session.  No, the date didn’t turn out well at all, but quite honestly, I was more in the game for the sex anyway.  Let me be frank.  It’s been four and a half fucking months!  You all know that I am quite the freak, and this is the longest that I have gone without sex since I started having it in the first place!  The big, pink Jelly Surprise (or the Silver Bullet, for that matter) just isn’t cutting it anymore, people!  We teased each other for hours.  And, actually, he had a surprisingly nice, large, rock-hard cock.  Unfortunately, he continued to drink Crown from his own bar after arriving home, and by the time I was ready to give in and let him fuck my brains out, he was too drunk to keep it up.

Are you fucking kidding me?

At that point, I made him take me home even thought he was still wasted.  I walked in the door at 9am.  Mom had been trying to be quiet all morning because she thought that I was in my bed asleep.  Of course, I had to stay awake and tell her all about it before I could crash on the couch.  I slept til about 3:30pm.  I haven’t done that in years.  Of course, new guy called me that afternoon.   He apologized… again.  Third time he had to apologize to me in the two days that I’d known him.  Then, get this… he asked me out again.  Wanted me to go to dinner with him that night.  I told him no.  He called again that night and then again Monday at 11:30am.  I finally called him back on my way home from work.  Wanted me to go to dinner with him.  Fortunately, I really did have prior plans — Christmas get-together with Mom’s friends and their daughters (which, by the way, I had a blast at).  He told me to call him afterwards, but of course, I didn’t.  Haven’t heard from him in a couple of days.  We’ll see what happens.

In other news, Mom decided to give me money towards a plane ticket for Christmas.  I’m leaving for DC Saturday morning to visit my brother and sister-in-law!  Oh, my god, I’m so freakin’ excited!  While I’m there, we’re taking a three hour train ride to New York!  I get to walk on the same streets that Carrie Bradshaw walked on!  I’ll take lots of pictures for you while I’m there.  I probably won’t get a chance to update between now and then, and I won’t be back from my trip until New Years Day.  So, I hope you all have a wonderful, merry Christmas and a rockin’ New Year’s Eve!

Peace out, homies!
Felina