The Complete Number

One Day at a Time

A co-worker of mine had a D-day a few days ago. That’s basically like probation. They tell you to shape up or you’re out. Fired. It’s worse than getting written up. He said he believes he got it because of an incident that happened in wireless a couple of weeks ago. I feel somewhat responsible. At least, potentially. I was the one who actually did the contract, but we were logged on with his username. He was pretty new with doing contracts so I told him to log on, fully intending to let him do the contract but I would be there to help. So he logged on and started the contract. I had to step in at some point to help and another customer came up so he went to help them. I ended up finishing the contract. I might have discussed this before. Yes, I did discuss it before. I did the contract 100% correct but at the end I realized there was one mistake because the phone rang up for the wrong price. I had done all of the contract terms correctly, the correct plan, everything, except someone put in the wrong phone. I don’t know if it was me or him that did that, since I can’t recall at what point I took over with the contract. Could have been him but could have been me. I was worried I would get in trouble for it. My department manager did question me because this guy claimed I did the full contract. And I admitted to my department manager that perhaps I indeed made the mistake. But I didn’t get in trouble. Instead, this guy takes the fall, since it’s in his username, his account. If that was the full story then I would really feel bad, like he got cheated and I was somehow protected by my boss. Well, this guy also had quite a number of call-ins, and some other issues going on, so I have to think it was a culmination of all these things. Also, my department manager seemed to think he had lied to him when he told him he new nothing about the incident . . . lied, and in the process, made me look bad, like it was all my fault. I think that’s what angered my DM. I’m not going to question it. It is what it is. Obviously, my DM thought the lying (and the other stuff this guy has done) was far more serious than just a simple mistake that I may or may not have made. So he gets in huge trouble. I get nothing more than a "talking to". I talked briefly with this guy. He wasn’t angry with me. He didn’t seem that upset. But he wanted my full side of the story, and I gave it to him, honest and straight up. I said I don’t know if it was your fault or mine. I hope I didn’t say too much. I hope he doesn’t go to the DM and complain and try to say I admitted to anything and somehow demand to know why I was not in trouble like he was. Well, I was honest. Whatever happens, happens.

In another incident, I (uncharacteristically) got testy with my boss last Thursday when he gave me and Clarence (not the guy who got in trouble) an ultimatum that we had to finish the TV wall by the end of the day. Panic flashed before my eyes and I projected the worse (as always) . . ."what if we don’t get done, then I’ll get in trouble? Written up?" I was telling my coworker, Antonio (again, not the guy who got in trouble) yesterday, that I felt horrible about saying what I said to the DM. It was silly. Very stupid. I didn’t curse, but I acted like a child and I told him, "the TV wall is not my thing". What a stupid, stupid, stupid thing to say. Antonio suggested I apologize to the DM and so I did so today (first time I’ve seen him since Thursday). I said I apologize for my tone, how I acted, and what I said, and that it was not being a "team player", and that I would have a better attitude about things moving forward. He simply told me, "You were just frustrated. We all were." I didn’t know how it played with him really, as those were his only words to me immediately after. Antonio later told me that the DM actually told him about my apology and that he was happy about it. My life’s goal should never be to be a people pleaser, but when you do something stupid, and you know you upset someone, I believe in making it right. And I knew he was upset by the whole thing on Friday because he told Clarence and Antonio that he was. So . . . I made it right.

Working full time has really drained me, to a great extent. I have cut way back on meetings, running, and writing in here. I’ve also cut way back on farmville. I used to play every day. Now, my crops have withered and . . . there just doesn’t seem to be time for it, for many things. It’s just 8 extra hours a week though, that I’m working (compared to before). But every day is a 9 hour day, really 10 if you add getting ready, and drive-way to drive-way, so yeah, just exhausted. I have two days off a week, like everyone else, and I try to be productive with those off days (rarely are they back to back though), do something that needs doing (oil change, clean my room, clean my car, whatever). If there’s a good meeting on my day off, I go. Last week, repotting my plant was a project. This past Monday I went to Target, bought me some clothes. I was in great need. I’ve been wearing rags for a while now. Yes, I work at Walmart but I shop at Target. Go figure. In fact, I can only find clothes for work at Target, LOL. They always have my size and style on the pants. Has to be 32 waist, 30 length FLAT FRONT, NO turned up cuffs. Yes, flat front and finished cuffs. I hate pleats and I hate turned up cuffs. Target will always be inferior to me (compared to Walmart) because Target doesn’t sell tobacco (strange), and they don’t have an extensive automotive and lawn and garden department like Walmart. But some things, like clothes, they seem to be better at.

I really must get back to running, but it’s difficult. It’s so hard to make yourself run at the end of the day when you’ve been on your feet for 9 hours. And sometimes more than that . . . sometimes being very busy, moving around a lot, and even quite a bit of heavy lifting on some days. Having said all that, I know, despite the hard work, I’m not burning near the amount of calories I was when I was running regularly. I think this being tired after work is one reason a lot of runners run before work. But it’s so hard to get out of bed an hour before I actually have to. At best I might can make a brand new start by running only on my days off to begin with. But what good is running 2 days a week going to do? They say you have to run at least 3 days a week to get any kind of good conditioning. And those three days need to be evenly spaced out. Don’t think you can run for 3 days in a row and take 4 days off in a row and have it do you any good. I can feel my skin sag more around my belly each and every day. It’s sad. There seems to be no way around it. To get rid of the belly fat I have to workout. And working out makes me stick thin, at least cardio does. Enough of that. It just is what it is. My job is more important than running. It’s my livelihood, even if it isn’t nearly as lively as I’d like it to be. I don’t get paid to run . . . unless you consider being as skinny as a toothpick to be payment. I’m not sure what’s better . . . to not have any bellyfat, or to not be as skinny as a toothpick.

When I was running I didn’t have any bellyfat. Now that I’m not running, I am not longer as skinny as a toothpick. Both very good things. But I can’t seem to have both at the same time.’

My plant is doing well. One of my noters pointed out that each stem has 3 leaves. You know, I’ve had this thing for over 2 years now, and I’ve never noticed that, until I read that note. Never thought about it. Three is a good number. It’s a complete number. Two, four, five, just wouldn’t do. I really don’t seen any new growth sprouting yet, nor am I sure that I should expect to. But everything is nice and green, healthy looking. I’m a bit fearful of overwatering. That’s the number one mistake I tend to make with plants. It seemed so easy with the smaller pot. Now that there’s a bigger pot, I have no idea. I saturated the soil completely on Wednesday (when I first potted it) to the point that the excess started to drain underneath. I watered again today (Tuesday), which is 6 days later. The edges of the top most part of the soil were starting to feel a bit dry. It’s outside, exposed to 80 degree warmth and sun in the evenings. I really wish I could find out what kind of plant this is. Google and the internet are great things, but if you have no point from which to start, that doesn’t do you a lot of good. I no longer think it’s a fern. The stem and root structure are much like a fern, but the leaves look nothing like a fern. So I really have no point from which to start my search.

-AR