My Plant (Repotting)

One Day at a Time

Hmmm . . . no one notes me anymore. That’s OK. I don’t note either, really. You get what you give, I suppose.

I’m not sure if I’ve shared this before. My former sponsor, Bob V., before he left to move back to Michigan, gave me a plant. This was in December of 2008. He told me to hold onto it, to take care of it, for one year. And then if I was able to do that, to care for another living thing for one year, then I’d be ready to move on and care for something more . . . for example, a relationship. I think he said he got the idea from a movie called "28 Days", which I have never seen. But yes, in A.A. they say not to start a new relationship (romantic) for one year, the first year of sobriety. Well, I broke that rule the first time around and it caused me to lose focus on my sobriety, not to mention I wasn’t ready. I was in it for what I could get out of it, not what I could give. So, it fell apart rather quickly. And I drank again. I couldn’t stay sober. Then I finally did get sober again and this time around I was determine to do things the right way. I did. I made no major decisions nor did I get into any relationships in the first year. But now I’m coming up on 2 and a half years. Perhaps it’s time to start making some major decisions. Perhaps I’m ready. Perhaps I need to make some goals, work harder to find a better job, or get serious about going for a promotion. Perhaps I need to start looking for a "significant other". Now that I’m full time it seems so difficult to do this. I just don’t think I have the time, nor the regularity within my schedule. In the past, whenever I’ve gone after a relationship, gone after a girl, I had to put my entire self into the endeavor. It only came about because I went after it above all else . . . in such times I didn’t have a full time job to think about. I was just a young kid with way too much time on my hands. I just don’t know if I can do it the adult way . . . while holding down a full time job and holding firm with my other responsibilities to myself and others. There are two schools of thought on this issue. One is, that I have to work my ass off to get what I want. The other is, that I need to be patient, that it will happen when it’s supposed to happen, it will happen "in God’s time", if you will. I don’t know.

Anyhow, so, back to this plant. I think it’s some kind of fern but I’m not entirely sure. It has survived for these two and a half years, but despite good watering and plenty of sunlight (and now that weather is warmer, I keep it on the screened-in-porch so it gets plenty of light and yet is still somewhat protected from the elements-wind, storms, rain, animals, etc) . . . some of the larger leaves have started turning brown. I was convinced it was in great need of repotting. So I just made that a project today, since I was off from work. I’ve repotted now . . . to a bigger pot, of course. I know nothing about this kind of stuff, and it was strange. I went to the outdoor section at Lowe’s and I asked a guy for help. I asked him where the potting soil was . . . smaller bags, all I saw were huge bags of soil and fertilizer. He didn’t know, saying it was only his second week on the job. He did walk around with me though, helped me look for it, and we found it. Then I looked over all the bags and they all said they had fertilizer. What happened to plain old potting soil? This is what I was thinking. Apparently fertilizer in potting soil is the norm these days. I mean, I understand this, as it’s good to start with plenty of nutrients in your soil, for the plant to grow and thrive. So, the whole experience just made me realize what it’s like to be on the other end of the stick . . . shoe on the other foot, if you will. I’m used to customers asking me questions at work, and often times I think to myself how stupid the questions are. Are they really this clueless? So, perhaps I’m not clueless when it comes to electronics, but yes, I am very clueless when it comes to plants, lawn and garden, potting, etc. So, it was a bit eye opening. I shouldn’t be so judgemental in my own mind when people need my help now. It is legitimate to not know the difference between a DVD and a Blu Ray, just as it is legitimate to not know the difference between a pot and a planter, or to not know whether potting soil is supposed to have fertilizer in it. Doesn’t make for a dumb person. We all have our interests and our niche, as far as knowledge base goes. Strangely enough, I love plant life, nature, etc. Yet I’m still dumb when it comes to lawn and garden stuff just because I don’t have a whole lot of hands on experience like I do with electronics.

I bought a planter with a matrix inside, in the bottom. I guess it’s supposed to give the water a place to drain to so it doesn’t sit hopelessly locked in the soil, causing root rot. There is no opening on the bottom of the planter for the water to drain out though. I could have just put the soil directly in the planter. But I decided against it since that would mean I would have to take great care not to over water the plant, being that the water, while able to drain below the level of the soil, would not be able to drain completely out of the planter. Down in our garage, I found some pots with holes in the bottom that my mom had no use for, so I used that pot to put the plant in, and then that pot can sit in the planter. This will allow water to drain out of the pot and into the bottom matrix of the planter. And excess water in the planter can evaporate rather than being locked underneath the soil. The only potential problem I see is that the planter is really too big for this pot. I may have to go back and get a 10 inch planter, instead of the 12 inch that I got. The pot itself though is much larger than the one I had before (even though it is too small for the planter).

I got my hands dirty. And my feet. Bought a new pair of sandals today while I was out so they got a quick chance to get broken in here. Cuts all over my hands from work . . . hang nails that get bruised, bumped, cut, as I am working with my hands. I got dirt on all the sores, and well, it’s rather cathartic. I think it will actually promote healing. The whole experience had a cathartic effect on me, although right at this moment I have been blasted back to the "fight or flight" simply by virtue of a physical reaction . . . increased heart rate, abdominal discomfort, tenseness. It could be what I ate . . . spicy chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-a for lunch. Or, it could be swings in my blood sugar. I really wonder if I’m a diabetic. God, I hope not (it runs rampant in my mother’s family, and I’ve heard alcohol abuse can contribute to it’s development, primarily because some of the stages of alcohol digestion are similar to sugar digestion, and when that’s all this alcoholic consumed for a while, well, you know). I have all the classic symptoms: frequent urination, extreme thirst or hunger at awkward times (like 3 in the damn morning), mood swings could be explained by swings in blood sugar. Anxiety/panic attacks (the physical symptoms) could be explained by sudden changes in blood sugar. Then aga

in, I probably don’t have diabetes. Perhaps these symptoms can be explained by other things. I urinate frequently due to my massive caffeine intake (and what is frequently? I mean, I really only say frequently to mean "inconveniently", as the total number of times a day is very much within the normal range, possibly lower than the average person). I mean, anyone who lies in bed for 4 hours unable to sleep for that long is eventually going to feel the urge to go to the bathroom or eat something out of sheer boredom.

Also, I notice that I feel better physically and mentally when I don’t eat much. A large meal will put me over the edge . . . or very near it, ruining my mood, etc. I’m not saying I shouldn’t eat. That would be bad too. I’m simply saying I think over eating, and over eating the wrong things (sugar, fats, etc) makes me feel bad.

There’s probably honestly nothing wrong with me that a major change in diet and attitude wouldn’t fix. Once again though, as I’ve said before, it’s hard to change the attitude, to change the thinking, without first changing the physical feeling. And what can change my physical feeling accept diet, sleep, exercise, and medication? I have had great success with the exercise over the last year and a half but I have sucked royally at the other prongs . . . sleep and diet.

Back to the plant again. While repotting, I loosened up the roots, and even made some cuts into the root ball, as is recommended. This will hopefully stimulate growth. It will have a lot more room. I’m hoping it can be large and vibrant once again. Before repotting I also cut off all of the large stems which had leaves that were going brown on the edges. There are a few newer, smaller green shoots though. I know this thing will come back if well cared for. New shoots are coming up all the time. I think that is typical of ferns. Well, I guess it’s a fern. I really don’t know. If there are any plant enthusiasts, botanists, or the like out there reading this, I would love to know if they know what kind of plant this is. It’s the small one in the pic below. This is before I repotted.

 

Now a picture of the newly potted version. See what I mean about the outer pot (the planter) being too large. These pictures actually make it look worse than it actually is. I’m happy with the results as far as the potting, I think everything will be fine. I just need to consider getting a smaller planter, perhaps a 10 inch will do, rather than the 12 inch here.

-AR