03/19/2011

Woke up this morning in a blind panic.
I keep a set a pretty swords by my bed (short sword and longer sword that have been heat treated so they’re all rainbow pretty colors), and it was so hot I stripped down to my undies to sleep. Well the phone rang. I heard it, realized it was still bitch black out. Panic. "Who’s calling? Oh gods, it’s gotta be an emergency. Meme? She’s been sick, oh gods. GET UP!" So I blindly pulled pants on with one hand, tripped over my swords, slid across the floor on a tshirt in my haste to make it to the phone.
Mom said "oh it was just your aunt." Then I realized it’s was like 7am. Not unusual for the aunt to call that early. Nothing was wrong.

And of course there is no going back to sleep. So I got my coffee (I swear Xena got it all wrong, ambrosia is not jello but coffee), and my cigarettes and I’m sitting in the dark watching the news. Mom called the aunt back. Neither of us realized how late it was. I gotta get to the store today. I need cigarettes. I have half a pack left, which should last until I get around to the store. The BFF might try to come over today. She was over Thursday, but it didn’t go as planned. She was going to stay the night. We had food, and alcohol, the hot tub was cranking. We were going to relax, get a bit drunk, have fun. Nope. She had to go home. Plans got squashed. Always happens. We plan something, and 9/10 something ruins it. It’s frustrating, and getting to be bordering on stupid. I know she didn’t want to leave. If the obsessive hugging and whining and sad eyes were any indication. When she left she kept clinging to me, trading kisses, and then more hugging. I’m pretty sure she was about to cry, but she knows I’d be entirely uncomfortable if she did. I never know what to do when people cry. I’m actually really bad at comforting people. I never know what to say or do.

I’m gunna go read some Xena fanfic. Or maybe browse the XOC forums. Hmm… either way XENA!