Couldn’t be happier. :)
I haven’t written much lately. Mainly because I hate my internet connection, but also because I just don’t have time.
Life is good though.
And sadly, the only time I feel the strong urge to write is when it all goes to shit.
Matt and I have been together roughly 5 1/2 months now…and I’m still just as happy as ever. The more time we spend together the more time we want to spend together. He wants me to move in…and I’m ready, god am I ready…but there are other factors.
Work being one of them. I just don’t think I can handle an hour and a half commute one way to work. I’m going to talk to my boss and see about transferring to a store in Wilmington, that would cut my commute in half, but I’d still get to stay in the same district. Although I think my boss is a total douche sometimes, he’s starting to get me. Another major issue is Sam. I’d have to figure out an entirelly new game plan there. Our current arrangement would just not work if I move to Chinquapin and work in Wilmington. I’d have to drive an additional 30-45 minutes out of my way (one way) just to pick him up. And I seriously doubt he’ll work with me and meet half way or anything civil like that. Bah. I need to get him in daycare, but that shit is expensive! I need to enroll him NOW for preschool, but I have to have proof of residency. Grr….guess I just need to call the school and explain I’m moving into the area soon and see what I can do.
It’s weird….life. It throws so many curve balls your way. The last year was…not easy. It got easier after my promotion and my sister left. But it has definitely not been all rainbows and butterflies. It’s amazing how things change to drastically so fast. I look back on all the time I spent with John…miserable. I hated my life, I hated him. I hated myself for allowing the situation to continue…I felt trapped and I just didn’t have the courage to leave. I finally break free and deal with loser after loser, give up on men, and then Matt falls into my lap. He makes me smile, so much. He makes me feel special, he makes me feel loved. He lights up my world. I literally have never felt this before. I’ve never truly loved someone like I love him. It’s so different from every other relationship I’ve ever had. Even the little thing with Ralph. I was in love with that boy for 8 years…finally expressed my feelings…and was elated that he responded. But even then I felt….restrained? I was afraid of scaring him away and in the end his emotions were too much for him to deal with. I cried more times than I’d care to admit over that boy. But with Matt it’s so easy. I feel more myself with him than I have around anyone else. I don’t have to hide who I am or change the way I act. HIs family adores me and Sam. He is amazing with Sam. Hell, he even said he’d turn his spare bedroom into a library for me. Can we say keeper?? Lol. Just thinking about him puts a smile on my face and I swell up with pride and love. There are still things we are learning about each other, but I truly can see myself with this man for the rest of my life.
We spent Christmas at his mom’s house, at one point Matt, myself and his mom were in the kitchen and he told her I was her future daughter in law. She started to tear up. She said, "Awwww, really?? We like her…we want to keep her!" lol. He responded with, "Well she hasn’t said yes yet." And I said he hadn’t asked me yet. We have briefly talked about it…we both know we want it, but don’t want to rush it. We also both want to live together for at least a short while before the proposal…You never really know someone until you’ve lived with them. Although, I forsee no problems there either. We mesh so well. It’s just amazing.
I know I’m just off on a tangent here about MAtt, but I can’t help it…. =)
*Sigh* Ok, I guess I should go read. Try to get my mind off of him. I have until Friday before I see him again so sitting here thinking about him will do me no good. Besides I have a shit ton of books to read. I’ve been going a little crazy with the book buying lately….I have an addiction. lol.
Anywho, I’m going to go read now.
Laters!!!