Motivation, perspiration, determination..

I think that weight loss ticker at the bottom of my page will finally have a loss tomorrow. I resolved to only weigh myself every 3 weeks or so because I want to stay committed to my current plan.

I’ve been using my tracking website constantly and apart from a small slip up last Sunday, have been under my calorie goal, eating super well, managing my portions and drinking boatloads of H2O! I’m getting back in the groove!!! I think with so little else to have control over right now, this is giving me something to really work for.

I think the first 15 pounds will be the most difficult really. That’s usually the point where you notice your clothes getting too big and whatever so I’m just biding my time… Jimmy is training for a marathon and while I’m not really able to run too much, I’ve been power walking on the nights I don’t hit the gym. If it snows (and truely, it’s much more of a rarity than I thought it would be) and I can’t be fugged driving on ice then I leave it in the hands of my trusty Wii Active and assorted DVD selection’s… I tell myself that even 15 mins of SOMETHING is far better than 0 minutes of nothing.

If you’ve hung with me on FB then you might know that I’ve tried pulling myself out of the doledrums by making plans to "do things." Knowing full well that friends’ won’t come to me, I’ve hooked up with a few groups around here so I can start to be social again. I think spending too much time with children under the age of 3 has rendered my social skills almost null. I’ve made a decision that I’m closing down the daycare permanently in June. I have a few good ones (kids that I look after)v but I think my brain wants to be elsewhere and I’m not sure I have the dedication level required to keep this going beyond that!! I hope that I’m closer to being able to get a job by then and I really couldn’t care less if it was in an office at this point, I miss "going to" work. Staying home? Not my thing. I also want to spend some quality time with Jim and be there for the people that come over for the wedding and I don’t think it’s fair to tell the parents that they need to find alternatives for a month plus. Easier to just quit. So far it’s just my parents that are coming over and although I’d love a contingency of awesome Aussie friends there, I know it’s not as a simple as "hey buy a ticket!" I have to send out invites. I made the mistake of not printing enough "Save-the-date" cards which was silly but eh.

We also got a court date for the divorce proceedings. Sometime in early December Sally was FINALLY served with the documents and it wasn’t easy. Our process server was back and forth, convinced no one lived @ the house because she never answered the door or phone and never left the lights on. Tricky little bitch eh??? Well we found out from the kids that they planned a Macca’s trip one night and hit her with them there.

God I would have loved to be a fly on the wall THAT day.

So I waited and waited for the news and nothing came. Xmas passed, the new year passed and I called the lawyers and they still hadn’t heard from the courts. I think it was about then that I started to just lose the plot. It’s hard enough understanding why everything has taken so bloody long. You’d never get away with this nonsense in Australia. Why the hell it can’t be easier i’ll never know. The worst thing being that everything seems soooo one sided. Still. 2 weeks ago we found out we have a date scheduled. 9.30am 11th Feb 2010. We booked our tickets and are heading to NY to get this one step closer to being done.

In the midst of it all we found out that the last 3 years of tax returns that Sally illegally (and fraudently) filed amounted to $32,000. We finally feel that we may have something to take to the judge. People like this should not have the upper hand. the child support I get for MY children amounts to $161.00 per month (and that’s IF they pay it). I’m all for it… but the $3000 per month he currently pays her needs to decrease. It’s completely illogical for us to suffer financially so we can give her money. She hasn’t paid the mortgage (which was a demand she made in the separation agreement – she wanted the houses, he gave her the houses)  and because his name is still on it, his credit is in the hole to the tune of $65,000. I’m not paying it!!! Hell no. So perhaps this will be closer to resolving itself in a week or so. 

Either way I can’t imagine someone telling us he has no right to be divorced. 

I’ve also decided that I need a hobby. I miss basketball but there doesn’t seem to be any social comp’s here like there is back in Melb’s.  I have crafting but I need something physical outside the gym that gives me an ooph and a huge rush of endorphins. For this reason I decided that I’m getting into Roller Derby.

Yes. Roller Derby.

I met a chick at the OzDenver party who’d joined a team down that way and I just thought it sounded like a riot. I mean, a bunch of birds on a flat track pushing and shoving on 4 wheels to get points? Yes please! (My idea of a good time isn’t always something I can explain). So I looked up the teams in Colorado Springs and low and behold there are 4 under the one banner "Pikes Peak Derby Dames." I e-mailed the head chook and she was really nice. Try-out, they’ll put you in a team to train with until you find ya skating genius again (it’s been a few years) and then you start comp’s. As you get better and better you move up and they have a team that competes interstate.

Now there’s a way to stay interested and busy!!!!

I’m rather looking forward to it. We all went out last saturday night to watch the All-Stars take on Tucson and I had a great time.

Jimmy’s work is getting more and more intensive. It’s not always easy and I often have to pace myself through the day just so I can keep myself on a level playing field. He has 2 weeks of field training after we get back from NY and then is gone for a month in April to LA (Lousianna). It’ll be that point where I start to really prepare myself. I think that simply "thinking" about it just makes it more difficult. You can have no pre-conceived ideas about the difficulty and this will be my first true deployment. Sure, we did three years apart BUT he wasn’t in a war zone and I could call him whenever. Things will be different and as part of an infantry brigade and a combat unit, it’s not gonna be that cozy. 

So… that’s what’s going on in the next few. I appreciate everyone leaving notes and keeping up with me. I think i’m gonna need ya…. heh. 

xxxx 

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