mamma mia, can YOU do the fandango?

Firstly JD Fortune won the INXS lead singer reality program thingy. Yes, he’s a bit lick worthy but I still can’t get over the fact that Mig Aesha was just scrumptious. Ok, you don’t watch it? Sorry…BIG, HUGE INXS fan right here, so it ws uber important that I know what was going on with the whole frontman to the band thing. I’m OK with JD winning. He’s a good looking lad with decent stage presence… but Mig, Mig, Mig (hold on while I fantasise)…mmmmmmmm.

Ok, I’m good.

I’ve been slowly (very very slowly) writing my entry on Phillip Island. Kept having big, fat issues getting into OD when I had the chance to write (ie: time away from the children) and then when I only had time for a few notes and favourite "catch-ups" the blasted thing worked fine! Here tis’

Phillip Island was lovely. No, I lie. Phillip Island WOULD have, COULD have been lovely if my mother and I had taken off minus the children. Sacha is acting like ‘the advocate for women NOT to have children’ and I’m right there backing that statement up. Tell me, whoever said that girls were better than boys??? MY little 3 year old (treasure that she is) is having a rather late attack of the terrible 2’s and they are right out of control. Spiralling downhill on the "mother gone mad" track is me, nervously biting every nail I ‘might’ have had and practically tearing my hair out every minute. OF course as soon as I confide to someone that she is acting like a devil-child she goes and does something that turns my very being to mush. How is it possible that this little girl can be soooooo naughty??? I mean, truth be known is that Tylah had the terrible 2’s… she used to lie on the floor, kick her feet and thump anything within a 35cm radius (little hands can’t go very far). Most kids go through this (sudden – oh god was it ever – onset), it’s just that I don’t want my darling Sacha to go through it!!! Anyway, I’ll keep the ‘dinner at a restaurant’experience on ice for another couple of years… it was possibly the most horrid time of my life. I would rather eat microwaved mung beans than go to a restaurant with Sacha, lol.

So before I terrify all you gorgeous young ladies with my tales, I will stop. My mother already has a smug smile on her face that says "I told you so"over and over again and her favourite line is "Karma…" (include the dot dot dot when you read this)… It’s oh-so very comforting.

Ok so my wonderous holiday started shortly after my last entry. I must have left in a bit of a flurry because I forgot to pack my P.J’s and several other items of necessity for myself. The drive there was quite nice… I got to be passenger so I just read the paper and a few magazine’s whilst mum played with the cruise control the whole way there. I packed enough "nibblies" (something you mustn’t forget when travelling with kiddies) so they munched contentedly on bits of apple and their botles of H2O.

We arrived nice and early so mum and I parked in the main town and decided a latte was well and truely called for. We still had a few hours to kill before check-in so we meandered up and down the shopping strip and paused at the Continential Cafe. The sun was shining and the sky was a lovely shade of blue and it always makes one happy when they are good weather conditions. It wasn’t hot hot, just warm enough so that a light, long sleeve top was sufficient, with a nice, mild breeze blowing through. After our remaxing coffee, Tylah decided she wanted to go for a swim/paddle on the beach. Before we knew it she had whipped off all her clothes (I was standing in front of her to shelter her ‘nekked’ body from half the township) and I was rummaging in a tightly packed suitcase for her swimming costume. Well of course what one had the other had to have so it wasn’t long before I was up to my arms squashing Sacha’s perky bottom into her swimmers as well. She soon realised that Tylah must have been made of tougher stuff though because she nearly turned blue and had goose bumps the size of small mosquito bites after her sister threw her on her bottom into the freezing waves!!!

Mum and I waited with a huddled Sacha whilst Tylah continued to "feel no cold" as she raced through the small waves. It soon neared check-in time so we dragged a rather reluctant Tylah of the beach and across the road to the hotel we were staying in. So we’re all standing in the lobby like a bunch of windblown, soggy water rats (well, not mum and I, but the girls were) and mum goes to the counter to check-in (we had booked the accomodation on one of those last minute websites…) and the clerk says:

"We have no record of your names…"

SO before I go any urther I should point out that my mother and I don’t cope very well in these sort of situations. The panic rises and we go a little bit mad. AT this point after driving for 2 hours, being up early and having small kiddies who squabbled most of the way, we kinda didn’t want to have to turn around and go back to Melbourne. Besides, Mum had already paid for the accomodation on her Visa.Anyway the clerk looks at Mum and says:

"I’ll go and get the Manager."

Mum turns to me and shoots me this thin lipped, "this had better not be for real" look, before turning back to the counter. Anyway, the Manager comes down and he immediately seems to know what is going on because he was still 4 steps away from Mum and was apologising profusely.

"I’m so sorry Mrs. N, we have no idea what happened. The accomodation shouldn’t have been listed as available because we’ve been solidly booked up with the National Potato Conference (You said what????) for months!"

Before my Mum could butt in with anything he went on with:

"I have organised alternative accomodation for you and I’ll also give you a complimentary 2 night stay including dinner and breakfast for another time and you’remore than welcome to attend breakfast here tomorrow morning as well."

Well there was just silence on our end.I think Mum was still trying to juggle all the details in her head. I, however, was stuck back at the "National Potato Conference." How do you have a national conference on potatos???? That question was never really answered for me… mum and I did have fun poking at the idea though.

So we were put up in this other nice hotel. Only problem was I got to share a bed with my Mum. lol. I mean, I suppose I could have gotten Tylah to share with her Grandma (Aka: Nanny) but I didn’t think that far ahead at the time. The first day was quite relaxing, Tylah immediately found other kids her age to play with and they were kept amused by the variety of ‘kiddy’ things on offer. Sacha fell asleep and Mum and I made salad rolls and read the paper on our deck in the sun…. ahhhhh bliss. We decided to go out and have a nice dinner that night and ended up at "The Jetty" which i

s this super yummy restaurant in the town. I ummed and ahhhed over the menu for ages and eventually decided on the Seafood Laksa. Well, i’ve had my share of Laksa’s but none of them even come close to this one. The seafood practically melted in my mouth and the rest of it was heavenly!!! A few glasses of wine later and mum and I nearly tango-ed back to the hotel. We laughed the whole way, made very silly jokes (being rather happy in la-di-da land) and when we passed the hotel we were supposed to be staying at and saw that the al fresco dining area had been opened up for the conference delegates we dissolved in a fit of giggles. So rather loudly my mother starts making comments about potatos:

"I mean, a potato conference??? Are they serious??? What on earth can you talk about for 4 days??? Lemme see… there are white potato’s, yellow potato’s, purple potato’s, brushed potato’s, sweet potato and…. nope, that’s it… "

I think the potato men tried to ignore her. She was t-i-p-s-y! I, on the other hand, found the whole scenario rather hilarious.

Funnily enough once we’d walked back to the hotel we all fell into our beds rather happily. That’s where the "happiness" ends. Of course I haven’t shared a bed with my mother for quite a few years (if I was to put an exact time frome on it i’d say a good 20 years at least)… so I wasn’t to know the hell my father has apparently had to deal with for the last 30 odd years of his married life.

She  is  a  bed  and  blanket  hog.

That’s right, for about 8 or 9 hours (nice, long sleep) I had to contend with being kicked, pushed, prodded, elbowed and relegated to the very edge of ‘my side’ of the bed. No i’m not talking about us squeezing into a single bed, I’m talking about a Queen size bed… yes, ample room for everyone! Apparently that wasn’t enough for my mother, nor was she content with having a ‘portion’ of the doona… she was the whole shebang to herself. Big yay from me there. So not only was a clutching for dear life onto the edge of the mattress but I was freezing cold as well!

Aside from that (yes, I endured a 2nd night as well), the rest of the holiday was ok. Next time I am very likely to make sure that there is sufficient bedding accomodation in the hotel so that I get my own!

*strolls out whistling*

Vee