I can’t find my freaking head!!!!

     Disclaimer: I am babbling. I am nutty, crazy, insane, woeful, depressed, sugar high, wired, lost and emotional. Don’t read if this bothers you.

     Ugh, PMS… and I am suffering on a whole new level known to man. As much as i’ve enjoyed the last 3 years (being in contraceptive implant heaven), it’s really quite a rude shock being slammed back onto terra firma with an earth shattering thud. If you’re lost at this point it must mean that you either a) Don’t have to worry about contraceptives b) Aren’t old enough to understand or c) You come from a Third World Country. So, in case you’re confused in any way… yes, the last 3 years have seen me minus any and all of the monthly wonders. This, of course, has been brilliant… but now I feel like I’m being made to suffer for enjoying the last 3 years of my absence. Body wracking pain that ISN’T being knocked over with anything less than a narcotic and PMS that makes WWE wrestler looked friendly in a dark alley at night. Yeah… I haven’t been wonderful to be around. *sweet smile* So I’m really hoping the worst is over because my fuse seems to be short circuiting right now.

     My day started off brilliantly. I realised as I awoke in a muddle of clothing and blankets that I had fallen asleep in all my clothes. This is very unlike me… I like the nice shower before bed and climbing into my nice P.J’s and what not, but last night I must have been so whacked that I just crashed. So you can imagine my stiffness and discomfort arising in jeans and a shrug. The shrug had managed to tangle itself around me and I’m not sure how since I still had both arms in the right armholes…??? My hair was still pulled back (ugh) and I still had mascara and eye liner on and shit, wouldn’t you know that both had wound up in my eye. I looked like a rare black panda. So I grumpily got up and dressed both girls and gave them breakfast and then stood in front of the bathroom mirror to scrub aimlessly at my eyes. Mike then reminded me 4 seconds before he had to leave for work that he owed Bryce $10 for lunch the previous day. I glared, told him it would have been a more opportune time to remind me the night before and then stalked out of the house to get some change from the convenience store (I only had a $50 in my wallet and I was damn well not giving THAT to him). After that I was left with the kids (no more snoozing for me). This was not fun especially since Tylah let Patchy out of the bathroom (instead of picking him and and taking him outside for a piddle) where he promptly pissed all over me. Poor pup was so desperate for a wee… but I was furious. I started yelling at Tylah and then I stormed around the house like the proverbial black cloud and if anyone thinks I was being mean or nasty or a horrible mother, think twice about telling me. I went loop-di-loop and the rest of my day pretty much followed suit. I chatted with Courtney (always lovely), then I went to Ikea for some random bits and pieces (tablemats, glasses, cutlery, storage box thingy’s)… the young man at the checkout managed to act like a complete tool whilst attempting to juggle my new "glasses" and managed to break 2 of them. I became extremely snotty when he said he was unable to get anyone to retrieve another 2 for me (despite it being his fault) and then offered me the opportunity to wander back through the mire to locate the glasses. THANKS PAL! I took a small moment out of his day to advise him that ‘this’ Ikea was the largest in the Southern Hemisphere and that people who finally arrive alive at the checkout (with blistered feet from all the walking) generally don’t like to be told to walk back from whence they came to find items that shouldn’t have been damanged in the first place!!!!!!! I think he was struggling with the English language… either that or it could have had something to do with my seething (I hissed through a closed mouth) that caused him to nod like he was a bit confused. Hmmm.

     I then went and picked Tylah up from school… last day of the term, time for vacation… 2 weeks of bliss. Luckily for me we’re heading up to Phillip Island for 2 days so I can unwind and relax. I’m hoping mother nature will bless us with a little bit of sun… but it’s not really sun time yet, so maybe i’m hoping too hard. Anyway, Tylah and I ambled around Box Hill Central for a little while. I bought her a milkshake and I had a fresh juice. I was starting to feel slightly more human when she accidently tripped me up in Target and I landed akwardly on my foot (the bad one) which in turn managed to throw my back out. Stroke of fate or what??? I really am cursed. Needless to say I wasn’t a very happy mother. I managed, in a moment of restraint, not to curse but geez was I ready to let it rip. There is nothing more painful than a back injury and considering I have 2 all important weeks of hospital clinicals nearing, I’m trying to preserve my back. Falling like a Heffalump in Target is not a good look. I bit down on my tounge to save the obcenities from streaming like a garbled mess out of my mouth and hobbled back to the car, back aching, foot killing me and tounge raw and sore.

    "Oh good times!!!"

     On the upside I have spent today making my rather infamous "Spicy Lamb Chop Casserole" which will go down brilliantly tonight. It’s not actually that spicy (it’s just the amount of chilli that you like), but I do like mine with a bit of kick. Knowing my luck I will spill it down the front of a new top (since we’re having a few guests over)…. that’ll just be the end for me!!!

Enough whining. Once I get some paracetamol for my head, life will be grand!!!

Vee