happier…

Well, I did it.

I saw my old lover (in both meanings of the word haha) on Sunday at the Junior footy and netball presentation lunch.

His two younger play for same club.

He came to sit by me twice and we spoke – normal conversation stuff.

I had some second-hand school uniforms I wanted him to give to friends that he sees so as I was telling him I put them into his car….

He took his sunglasses off so he could stare at me better with that hungry-for-me look he had….

So I said … and… and he said ‘yes?’…. so I said…. and… I miss you….

And he said…… OHH…. I MISS YOU TOO…. (with feeling) and grabbed my shoulder…..

…. and then his kids came out and I ran away and he left….

And I felt HEAPS better that I had actually told him… and also with his answer….

And THEN that night, he rang me and asked if he could see me again! …. Now, as he was so on-again, off-again because of my psycho ex  – and it broke my heart every time….. I HAD told him ‘no more kisses’…. so I said….. NO…. yes….. NO…. maybe… ohdamnit…. okI’llthinkaboutit…… yes maybe…. ok….ihavenowillpoweryes….

And he came over to see me….. and…. well….we had really missed each other…. but I did tell him off alot before I let him kiss me…..

…… I’m hopeless…….

but smiling a bit more lately…