Why secret?

Oh. I must not have explained that bit…

My ex has been off his anti psychotic meds for a year now and is insane.

And he is stalking my lover, calling him on the phone and making violent threats.

My lover (ex-lover now!) has three teenage children who live with him often.

He had been sleeping on the floor outside his girls’ bedroom doors with a shotgun.

That is why he broke it off with me. Then asked if we could meet in secret.

We did that a few times (sweet/sad) but the ex didn’t believe/ comprehend and continued with the threatening talk to him.

My lover got mad and told him that we had been having affair, but now all over.

My ex continues with threats and crazy phone calls to both of us and crazy talk to the Misters.

The misters refuse to have anything to do with their father now.

We left the football/netball semi-finals yesterday straight after Mr14s match (we usually stay and watch games) because the ex was there and behaving in his usual strange way.

… actually I felt so protected… after he tried to talk to me he walked away and I then had two large burly kind farmers stand close and firm on either side of me for the rest of the match so I could watch my son in peace… so grateful…I am very lucky to have kind friends who can see what is going on without me having to say…

Because the ex stayed and we had to go home past our farm (and home) we finally managed to go back there for long enough to quickly grab the rest of my clothes out of my wardrobe and some more of the kids stuff too. I still have to go back with the trailer and get all my gardening tools and my lawnmower which I now need to look after this lovely garden where we are renting. But, first I will be washing and organising these retreived clothes because they smell bad from cigarette smoke and mice.

Oh, and I found, in the house a tape recorder. I took it with me, because he has recorded on it his phone calls to me and the kids.

Horrible really. Creeped me right out. I listened to them all – he has said the dates and times of the calls to make a record of them before each call. I was quite proud of how patient and sensible I sound on the tapes… and interested to hear the rest of his crazy talk recorded after I had hung up the phone… I could hear the disconnection beeps on the tape.. but he was too busy ranting to have noticed I had said I had to go and hung up! Not sure what I am supposed to do with it….. and what his reaction will be when he discovers it missing… but I don’t think it is very nice for the children to be recorded either… They are on there explaining to him that they don’t want to talk to him and asking him to stop contacting them….I’ll ask the solicitor, I guess….

Have now been forced to ask for court to determine and finalise a property settlement – it has been nearly 12 months since he divorced me and he has only asked that I sign over all I legally own now to him for 20% of its value… I cannot even legally do this, even if I wanted to… so have asked the court for an equal division. All inputs to the acquisition of jointly owned property are already documented and deemed to be equal.. Takes ages though… I will have nothing until at least next year… so…

Hi ho hi ho, it’s off to work I try to go… at least I am getting the childminding network a bit more organised now that we have moved to a better area for babysitters!  Had two interviews, two more to go…. if all these fail I can go back to my old job..

Hope those on east coast of America all be okay… byee