Two Entries
Firsts for Everything…February 4, 2013
Well, not EVERYTHING. Especially if it’s the second time you have done it.
Today’s weight, 109.2 lbs.
For the second time in three years, I purged at work. And now that 109.2 lbs. is now at 110.2 lbs. All because I ate at a fast food restaurant with my husband at lunch, when I vowed I wouldn’t eat anything.
I only purged one other time at work. It was a Friday, I believe in 2011, and I wasn’t feeling too hot after consuming some really greasy pizza so I made myself sick. Now this time I ate out for lunch and rushed back to work into the bathroom to purge it. I really, REALLY, hope I don’t fall victim of repeating this disastrous mistake. SO MUCH could go wrong with doing this deed at work. I could be confronted by my co-workers that already believe something is wrong with me with how much weight I am losing at the amount of time I have been losing it at. I could risk losing my job to this. I could get walked in on. SO MUCH. I cannot afford to do that again, PLUS, on top of the whole deed, I clogged the already not flushing right toilet. So SOMEONE is going in there and seeing something not right with half digested food in a toilet. And I am praying that person thinks a kid was the person behind it.
So I came home and gorged myself on MORE food. Probably why I am weighing in at 110.2 lbs. I just can’t control myself. I lose all inhibitions around food especially when I am around it. But God forbid if I get put into a crowd and asked to eat at a buffet or anywhere around other people, I can’t eat like that, especially if they have or are offering food at my place of work. I can’t control myself. It frustrates me.
But this purging thing at work seriously cannot ever happen again.
Always Sick!!! February 9, 2013
Today’s weight: 116.9 lbs. and tomorrow will be higher I know!
Since Thursday, well even before then really, since Monday of this past week, I have been coughing. I started developing a sore throat on Tuesday with the cough. By Thursday I was barely functioning while trying to teach my little 3 to 4 year olds. I just gave up and stopped functioning really. I called my doctor’s office on Thursday to see if I could get into see the doctor during my lunch hour. I couldn’t, surprise, surprise. So I tried a walk in clinic on my lunch hour, but they don’t take my insurance. So they referred me to the Urgent Care place. So I went there and saw a doctor. It was 2:15 about a half hour after I was supposed to be back at work. But I was diagnosed with Bronchitis. A really bad case of it. The doctor told me to take off the rest of the day that day, Thursday and all of Friday. I could return to work on Monday. So I called work and let them know and made sure I had a note saying this all as well. I wanted to make sure I had all the bases covered.
What makes me mad is that I went to work on Thursday and the beginning of the week just thinking I had a cold. Nope. I was put on an antibiotic called Ceftin, and it seems to really be helping. I woke up on Friday early morning around two in the morning with a fever and chills. It was horrible. I was praying for death, for sure. Then when I got up in the morning on Friday, I could barely breathe, my chest hurt so bad. It hurt to cough as well.
I’m guessing the weight gain comes from me actually eating and drinking a lot of fluids. I’m thinking it’ll take awhile until it comes off but I’ll work at it. It just shocked me when I stood on the scale and saw that number. I mean I was really shocked!