googly ball

still chugging away although i’m beginning to think i’m too smart for my job. at least with my last job i knew that i was overqualified. wiping butt doesn’t really take much skill (but believe it or not, there are TONS of people who are too stupid to even qualify for that kind of work……..)

i just thought that after going back to school i would actually have found something that fits me. i don’t quite think i succeeded. i get a decent paycheck, i like my coworkers, i have pretty easy work, but i just feel like i’m going to end up stupid after i just fuck around all day everyday. (random fact–baby is kicking my ass right now… she just had some carrots and a bagel sandwich–lunch time!)

i had originally thought that i should go back to school again to become a pharmacist, cuz that seemed like a cool job to me. and i would be a "rich girl, la la la la la la la"….but then pharm tech looked just as appealing… but then i found out you don’t even need a degree to be a pharm tech. what the hell? i could have gotten hired here as a pharm tech but make less than i do now.

whatever. just blowing out my ass and wasting time on my lunch break.

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baby girl is kicking like crazy. my hips are hurting, i feel like i’ve been riding a horse all day.

baby boy is growing. crawling, smashing his face on stuff, crying, and then we start all over everyday. i don’t know how people live through children! he stresses me out just to watch him have fun. i’m always afraid something will happen! —but that’s how i am with everything. over-paranoid and have all my irrational fears.

i still can’t believe how much i am in love with my baby boy. he’s the best part of my day, even when he’s pissy, i’m pissy, daddy’s pissy….it’s always ok, cuz bear is there.

parenthood has fit well with me. i’m glad to be having another one (until the day comes to actually do all of this times two!!! then we’ll see)

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i’m having a dilemma as to whether or not i should have a repeat c-section. i’ve been weighing the options, after being dead-set on repeat, now i’m scared to have another major surgery…. i talked to my doctor, and after figuring out his handy-dandy calculator for VBAC, he told me i have a 50/50 chance of successfully delivering a vaginal birth……………not helpful. but better odds than 30/70….i guess. i think we’ll end up having the c-section anyway. from all that i’ve heard, a planned c-section is MUCH easier than a non-planned.

i still have a few weeks to decide. i think i’m about 28 weeks today. give or take.

this pregnancy has been so much different, since i’ve already been there, done that. i’m still excited, just not nearly as excited as i was the last time. i don’t think i’ll ever share that information with her, or the other family members, but it’s true. this one is old news……

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holidays are making me happy. i’m ready for xmas. but not in the  gift giving sense. more in the spending time with family and eating tons of food!!! but then it’s all downhill after that…….after christmas is always a let-down. especially being preggo two years in a row, not being able to go out for new years, no hot chocolate and schnapps on xmas eve……….next year. next year….

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found out laura is preggo too! she is only 8 weeks, so she’s not telling the general popluation yet…we’ll have kids that are about 6 months apart. so these ones will be able to play together more. aurelia is nearly 4 and bear is nearly 1. not really the same age group yet… maybe in the coming years they’ll be able to hang out. but bear, baby girl, and laura’s baby will probably be all closer and play together.

 

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other than that, i might have  a permanant job soon, no more floating. time will tell i guess. should know in the next week or two.

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My little toot-toot!

Mi familia! Our christmas card picture for the year!!!

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