born free, as free as the windows

my grandpa is in the hospital with lymphoma and his kidneys are beginning to fail, so he is on chemo and dialisis. that was a strange turn of events from him being "short of breath" on thanksgiving. atleast they found out what is wrong with him, cuz i guess he was having episodes in the hosptial of not knowing what was going on and being disoriented, and nobody understanding what he was trying to say. he has hodgkins, which is the most cureable form, i guess.. (i only know what my aunt and dad have told me)

i honestly dont even know where he is, or if he’s still in the hospital or not. he was at methodist, which is where im going to have the baby, so he might still be in there when i go into labor… making it easier for my family to come and see us, i guess.

 

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finished school yesterday, for the semester. (and yes, i passed keyboarding, and can actually tell a difference in my typing skills while i type this entry… all that fucking suffering actually paid off…) i got 6 A’s… and a B and a C. not really proud of the C, but i was just hoping to pass that class at all. i suck at grammar, apparently, but the last few assignments and tests i did pretty decent on, so i learned something i suppose.

i tried to sell back my books, but they were going to give me $20.50 for 3 books that totaled out to over $200. fuck that. i put up some flyers at the school, but i don’t know if anyone will actually take me up on the offer. i’m asking less than half of the retail value, so they should take the bait…. who knows. i’ll probably just be stuck with books that will be obsolete in 2 years.

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i actually got so mad at my keyboarding homework that i broke my keyboard, and had to have joe find one from our upstairs mess of dead computers for me at 10:30 at night. i slammed my fist into it about 10 times, and then none of the buttons worked anymore. i think i might like this keyboard better though, so everything worked out ok.

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i have about 10 days until my due date. i’m pretty sure he’s not ready to come out yet. the doctor was going to help me along by scraping the inside of my cervix (sounds amazing… right?) and she said she couldn’t even really see my cervix yet, so he’s not ready to pop free yet. i kind of wish he would be here before xmas, but then his first xmas will not be very memorable… since he’d only be a few days old… BUT everyone would get to see him and hold and cuddle him, so that would be nice.

i’m aiming for the 21st, which is monday… but i doubt that will happen. i’m still scheduled to work until the 23rd, and actually i’m on the schedule for good, as nobody has been hired for my position yet!@>!>!>!>!>!>> and i have 10 days till my due date! way to be on top of shit huh? i kinda want to work up till i have him, as in the day before, or the day of still be scheduled to work, cuz i need the money, and don’t want to use up all of my vacation time. but i think for sure i’m gonna be done on christmas eve, unless someone will switch with me, and i’d work after that . i just really need that day off, since i have two christmas’ to go to, and am supposed to work 2-9. not gonna happen.

my boss just waits for me to call everyday saying that i’m going into labor

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went to betch’s wedding on saturday. his wife is apparently "the nicest lady" and "really friendly" but i’m pretty sure she was too stuck up to come to anything i invited them over for (in the last 9 months) and i only met her once (at the wedding!) so i really hope that isnt a precursor to what is coming up for next year. betch promised PROMISED me that he would be at our superbowl party, and we would have some cocktails, so he better own up…. and i better pump some baby juice out before then, so i don’t get my son wasted… guessing that will be the first time i drink in almost a year. and i doubt i’ll get too drunk, cuz i’m kinda scared to be a mom and a drunk (since i had one of those, and it wasn’t so great)

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i have to work today. not really excited at all. since the other staff gets to go to the YMCA and then to mcdonalds, leaving me with all the other ladies and everything else to do… and my boss can’t help me with any of it, cuz she’s on a 10lb weight restriction. which means i move EXTREMELY slow and get everything done at turtle speed, then feel like complete shit by the time i come home from work. i really need to start exercising again. my body is like that of an acient being. seriously. i don’t know how the hell i’m gonna shit out a kid when i can’t even walk around the mall without my body killing me. could be the extra 30-40lbs i know possess. *after i gained 7 lbs in three weeks, i stopped asking what my weight gain was* and i know its been atleast 10 + since then….. so my first 8 months of 20lbs was nice, then i fucking ballooned!

AND, my feet and hands are still swollen to no end. i am literally growing a loaf of bread on the top of my feet. just think about it for a second. giant fucking feet! AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so swollen that my tattoo has started to crack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i specifically put that on my foot cuz i knew that if i ever gained weight, my feet wouldnt gain weight too. yeah. fucking. right. now i’m gonna have to get it touched up, and i’m pretty sure the pain of childbirth will be more comfortable than that. can’t even wait.

also, my legs have started to swell too, so i have giant stump legs. theyre actually kind of comical. but very uncomfortable.

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i have one gift left to buy. and 6 to make (but it’s food, so it won’t take very long) and then i think i’m done xmas shopping. should be going to jake and lauras on sunday to exchange stuff and eat and watch the vikings, unless baby has other plans. and then we’ll have xmas eve at my mom’s and then cathy’s that night… and xmas day at the nelson side. gonna be a long frickin week. boo.

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and with all of that nonsense, i shall return in days/weeks to update when the baby shows up.