crusted bread

this week has been some week.

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i’m angry all the time.

i started school.

i paid over $800 for books, and have more to buy.

i was sleep deprived and reached my breaking point.

i went to a twin’s game with my ladies.

i rearranged two rooms by myself.

i quit looking for a house.

i cryed, pretty much every day.

i hurt.

i nearly fucked up my knee again today.

i’m tired.

i’m exhausted.

i’m ready to stop.

everything.

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tomorrow i have another ultrasound. the fourth. to take a picture of his heart, since they couldn’t get it last time, because he was too crazy. joe still hasn’t felt him move yet, but i feel him all the time.

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i’m trying to memorize medical terms, and it makes me feel stupid, because i should have known them. we learned some of it in high school, but i can tell i lost some of my brain cells from my drunk-ness.

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i want joe to agree with me on ONE aspect of our lives. he is being difficult about everything, which makes me bawl nearly every day. sometimes multiple times per day. i’m sick of crying.

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i want a good night sleep.

i bought a "bed" from our neighbor for $200; money that i don’t have. it’s hand made from wool. it’s more of a mattress pad, but i thought he was selling the WHOLE BED. but just that part… and i told him i’d take it…. and i’m too afraid to tell him no, cuz he’s on our good side, so i don’t want to fuck it up. he’s a cranky old man that has nothing better to do than sit and read the paper in his driveway, and shoot the neighborhood cats……….i’ll stay on his good side.

on an EVEN better note. i think the bed is making my back hurt. not really sure.

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drafted my fantasy football team. but not really. the computer did most of the work, cuz it’s so slow it wouldn’t let us all on at the same time, so me and spike got screwed, and ended up with crap players we didn’t even want.

not like i’m gonna win anyway.  let’s see if i can go 0-14! sweet!

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ready. for. bed. now.