an inch a year

i felt the baby kick me this morning. i’m sure it’s been kicking for months, but i have never really noticed. i was laying in bed and it felt like the baby was doing flutter kicks against my intestines. pretty fucking cool!

__________

i talked to alexa last night, and she said that she would like to move into my house. i asked her if she wanted to, if we end up getting the place we’ve been looking at, and she said that would take a huge weight off of her shoulders (and mine as well!) cuz for the last two weeks she’s been staying at her friend lea’s house… her mom and crazy aunt decided to throw all of her shit outside when she was staying at her grandmas, and essentially she is homeless.

she said she is done with her mom and aunt for good. for real this time. (which i;m honestly not too sure about) hailey bug might end up living in colorado with her cousins, or with her aunt teresa. who knows?

to be the selfish bitch i am, i’m just glad that someone who i trust wants to live here, and my mom loves lexa, so it all works out. and lexa is prepared to fix stuff around the house when it breaks, cuz she thinks she’s handy.

i really hope we’ll hear from the realtor this week about exactly what our options are… otherwise we’re gonna need to find a co-signer, otherwise this house is gonna slip away……and i’ll probably be really depressed for a long time.  i know it’s stupid to count your chickens, but i’m really hopeful that i can finally get something that i truly want in life. just for me.

(and joe and baby)

__________________________–

we find out in 16 days what sex our baby is going to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’m so fucking excited i could pee!

_________________

i want to buy my mom a plane ticket to jamaica for her 50th birthday, which is in september. i KNOW i’m not going to have enough money… but i still want to do it. i’ve even considered borrowing money from jake and laura, but i feel like such a peice of shit for doing that. they know i can’t afford it either, and won’t be too impressed with me.  i’m sure they would give me the money though… it’s about $800 for ticket and hotel at an all inclusive for 3 days. and it’s in the town that is right next to where all of my mom’s jamaican friends live…. but her best friend down there died a few years ago, so i’m not sure if she’d still want to go? i know that she does, but i also don’t want to send her on her own… but i can’t afford another ticket. (or even the first one)

and i have to buy my sister a camera for her birthday this friday.

i don’t really have the money for that either, but my brother said he would chip in, so it can be from all of us…

i despise money.