Summar of the year, 2011

I know I usually do these things closer to the end of the year, but do you know what: it’s been almost a year since I’ve written in here anyway, and this will serve well to catch the diary up on my year and pave the way for "recent" updating, if I so desire to come back to this course.

Also, sorry for the terribly mismatched fonts in places.  Just… sorry.

1.What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
I got engaged!  I got my own kitten!  I jumped horses over fences.  I got a bitch of a boss.  I quit a job.  I got a job with the government.  I developed my own HPLC method.  I gambled in Las Vegas.  I experimented with blood magic.  I applied ( / am applying) for graduate school.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I think at this point I don’t even bother with New Year’s Resolutions.  My goal for the year was to be well on my way to graduate school, and I’m doing that right now.  My Resolutions for next year?  I suppose I want to be healthier, exercise more, and the like.  I’m getting better at this "grown up" thing that people keep talking about, and have managed to get my exercise up to 2-3 times a week.  I want to see if I can’t make that 5.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin Allie is preggers.  She’s due in January.  🙂  I got her Star Trek baby jammies for Christmas.  I felt so clever.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I -almost- had to put my kitten down, which kinda counts because I’m very attached to him?  He’s been having terrible eye problems, and is actually scheduled to have his eye removed next Wednesday.  I didn’t think I’d be able to afford the surgery, and so was planning to put him down, but No More Homeless Pets, the organization that adopted him to me, agreed to pay the surgery costs if I took him to one of their vets and if I could pay for the pathology report.  There’s still a chance that the cause of his eye failing is systemic, and he’ll need to be put down anyway, but at least I’m more braced for it than I was originally.

5. What countries did you visit?
I went to Japan, on my own ticket!  It’s really weird to think that I paid for a giant trip all by myself.  Having a job does wonders for my bank account!  Japan was fantastic.  Everything was neon and bright and tall and it wasn’t nearly as claustrophobic as I expected.  Efficient, but not claustrophobic.  I was a good head taller than all the other women there (discounting the ones in six inch heels, of which there were many) and eye level with almost all of the men.  That never happens to me– ever.  I felt so badass being tall.

I also took for granted the ability to read almost all Latin-based languages.  I had no idea how to read signs or anything.  I learned pretty quickly the character for Ramen (it looks like a pretzel) and the character for exit (tree box).  Other than that I was pretty much stumped.  Bryan and I rode the bullet train, ate at vending machine restaurants, and rode on a ferris wheel on top of a building.  The only really disappointing thing was that Logan wasn’t able to come down to meet us in Tokyo like we’d originally planned.  After all of the earthquake damage, there was no way to get from the top of the country to the bottom unless by air.  It was very frustrating to be so close, yet so far.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Does Logan count?  I think this was my answer last year.  I’ve missed him so much while he’s been gone.  It’s been really hard to have my best best friend live so far, far away.  We only have about a one hour window a day where we’re both off of work/awake.  I only get to talk to him once a week, if that.  It’s hard.  I’m not going to get him next year, either, but at least he’s promised to come visit for my birthday.  I can’t believe it’s been a year since I’ve seen him face-to-face.

7. What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I will always remember the very explosive day in January that left all three of us in tears.  Our relationship together was not as strong as I thought it was– the connection between Logan and Bryan was apparently much more tenuous than they let on.  It hurt so much to watch them go through a… a breaking up of sorts, I guess.  It wasn’t an argument, but it was highly charged, and they’ve barely spoken to each other since.  We’re all three just starting to recover from that.  I really hope we can work it out for good when we all finally see one another face to face.

I will also remember driving to work that one day, and hearing on the radio that Japan had just been struck by terrible, terrible earthquakes.  Forget my vacation plans– I didn’t know if Logan was dead or not.  I almost crashed my car in shock.  I kept expecting the red cross to show up at my door and tell me he was dead.  I wasn’t able to hear from him for about 9 days after the earthquake.  Thank God the military posted that no U.S. soldiers had been killed– that all were accounted for: I think I would have gone crazy if I hadn’t gotten that nugget.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I’m very pleased with how well I’ve done horse back riding.  I’ve gone from "derp du der How do I steer?" to jumping three-jump courses at a canter.  I intend to continue getting much, much better at riding, especially while I’m still employed and can pay for it.  I hope to be able to continue through grad school.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Putting so much faith in my relationship with Logan, when I never realized how much it was hurting Bryan to do that.  I guess I also feel disappointed in myself that I still really want to go back to those two weeks of pure bliss– I know it would be killing Bryan all over again, but I was so happy…  What I mean to say is that I’m disappointed in myself for being so happy and content with something that made Bryan so distraught.  The man means everything to me, and I don’t want to ever hurt him so badly again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My back hasn’t been too great since I killed it a couple of years ago, and it’s been acting up lately.  I’m hoping more exercise will help.  Overall nothing too bad, though.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My engagement ring.  😀  Bryan and I have a very modern relationship– I’m bringing in the dough, so I get to pay for the ring.  It’s my bling anyway- why should he have to pay for it?  The point is, I bought it myself, but I’m so so happy about what it represents.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Mine.  Psh.  I’m always awesome.  I’ve actually been insanely impressed with Logan’s ability to stay my friend through everything.  For him, we’ve always been friends first and nothing else matters.  He was always able to stand by that, no matter how much emotional drama I was raining down on him.  He’s just been a really good friend.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
No one’s really.  I was sad that Bryan reacted poorly to some things, but he communicated his feelings (to me) in a mature and adult manner.  So… sad, but not appalled or depressed.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Horse back riding.  Thems creatures are ‘spensive.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
JapanJapanJapanLoganLoganLoganLogan!  But then kind of let down when I couldn’t actually see him.  But then I got engaged and that was really, really, really exciting!  And then I got a kitten and I’m pretty sure I bounced up and down for 48 hours straight!

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
That would be "Still Ain’t Over You" by Augustana.  It’s… a bittersweet song about still being in love with someone, but knowing you’ll never be able to get back together.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
A little more pessimistic, a lot more bored at work.  Slightly more cautious and reserved, but overall I would say more alive.  I’m more in tune with myself and my surroundings.  I’m more content, more career-driven.  More of a kitten-owner.  More obsessed with pirates.  (And soon to have a cute, fuzzy one of my own)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Is it bad to answer "sex"?

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Drinking.  My God.  I had my first hangover, and it was terrible.  How can people stand to have those things all the time?  I’ve cut way, way, way back, for fear of getting another one.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
I will be spending Christmas in Salt Lake for the first time in many, many years.  My parents don’t want to go down to Southern Utah because my Aunt is coming to visit for Christmas from New Zealand.  Her daughter, Sage, has been staying with my parents for the last year because their home was essentially destroyed in the Christchurch earthquakes.  (It’s been a bad year for my loved ones and earthquakes)  I also get almost no time off around Christmas because I just started this job a few months ago, so it’s just easier all around to stay in the city for Christmas.  I’ll also get to spend Christmas with Bryan’s family for the first time ever.  It’s really nice that they’ve finally adopted me.  🙂

21. Who deleted question 21?
The Ghost of Christmas Future

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Not this year.  Too much fallout from last year.  😉

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Bryan and I watched almost all of the episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  We have about a half a season left.  Next step:  Deep Space Nine!  I love being a nerd.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.

26. What was the best book you read?
Oh.  My.  God.  How could I not have read the Wheel of Time before this year?  I’m almost all of the way through the series, and soooo excited for the next book to come out  (I think it’s the last one, I haven’t checked yet?)  This is the fantasy reader’s wet dream.  There is so much depth and richness in the world, with so much character development and intricate plots and such a beautiful world and unique magic and… and I could just go on and on and on.  But I won’t, because the 12 (13?) giant volumes pretty much speak for themselves.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I’m still on my Dream Theater kick from last year.

28. What did you want and get?
A kittttteen!!!

29. What did you want and not get?
A healthy kitten.  🙁

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
"Were the World Mine."  You guys.  Go watch this movie.  Think… if Shakespeare’s Puck were a gay, disaffected youth in the modern day who got a magic flower to make everyone fall in love with one another…  Yes, it’s a modern Midsummer Night’s Dream, and it is wonderful.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22 (It’s a palindrome!), and I had a pretty lame birthday.  Very few of my friends decided to show up for my party, where I proceeded to fly off of the playground equipment not one but three times, hitting my head every single time.  I also called Dan to wish him a happy birthday, and was greeted by yet another year of the cold shoulder.  What did I do wrong?  Next year my birthday will be better, because there will be Logan in it.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Seeing Logan in Japan.  I was so disappointed to not make that happen.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Lazy.  I have worn old jeans and old T-shirts and hoodies from high school pretty much all year.  Once I got in this "I’m going to graduate school" mindset, my personal fashion concept seemed to follow pretty hard on its heels.

34. What kept you sane?
Bryan, as always.  He’s my sounding board, my steady boulder, and my lake of reflected calm.  He’ll get me through anything.  Love him so much.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Eh.  That one with… a nose…?

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I’ve been following the Republican primaries pretty closely.  I’m mad in love with John Huntsman as a candidate, but he’s polling at the lowest of everybody.  Intellectual honesty in politics?  We can’t have that now, can we.  Looks like another year I vote for the liberals.

37. Who did you miss?
If you can’t figure that out by now, you haven’t been paying attention.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Hm.  Ms. Katie Hart.  One of the best things about allowing Achaea to swallow my soul for a year is that I actually made real friends around the WORLD who all want to come and hang out.  And now I have many, many texting buddies to keep me company at work when I’ve nothing to do.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
This is attached to both losing Porter and losing Logan.  I learned that I can’t have my heart set on something so fully and blindly as to ignore the very real possibility that it won’t work out.  I know I lost Porter more than a year ago, but it finally sunk in -why- I was so devastated when he couldn’t be a Guide Dog.  I forgot to include a footnote that this may not work.  I used to think it was better to completely pour my heart and soul into something, to the exclusion of pessimism, but now I think that footnote is necessary.  I will still love with everything I have, and be impassioned by many things around me, but I want to always remember that everything is transient and nothing is guaranteed.  I think this makes me appreciate what I do have all the more, though.  Passion is very important to me, and I don’t want to lose it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Out of luck and out of tune
Half a day and night confused
Love may wash away the blues
But I still ain’t over you