OMG this Dads an A**SE

 

People that know me will know it takes a fair bit to ruffle my feathers , but every week this Dad seems to do just that.

His daughter has been in care with me since she was 10 weeks old .. Mum and Dad have split and do shared care.. for the last 3 years. She is 4… Off to school in May.

if I was to add up all the hours I have had her plus weekends and over nights , favours and baby sits .. I will have had her more than either of them seperately.. So she feels like my kid .. but I understand the parent relationship and I bring her up the way they ask, or require.

Lost property rips my nighty.. and this is the sticking point in the Dads and my relationship..

She is 4 .. she is learning. she leaves thinsg behind. She has 2 sets of clothes .. 2 bags .. 2 lunch boxes, not only is that hard for me to remember but at times I am sure she gets confused.

The kindy issue is the big one for me and the Dad .. he does not seem to get that he drops her off at 8 am and I get her at 12 ..

I have no idea what she went to kindy in .. what bag she had what shoes she wore , what drink bottle she took each day ..

I leave that to her to gather .. I stand by the bag bay and say .. bag .. lunch box .. shoes .. jacket .. cardy ?? .. did you get changed today ?

I trust that she gathers the correct stuff .. all her stuff and we head home.

5 hours later .. dad comes to collect her from me and goes through her bag like and army corpral… where is the singlet I packed ? whera are your shoes ? why is this in that pocket ? you’ve lost a clip .. wheres the hair tie , your yoghurt is all through your lunch box ..

OMG BFE.. if you can not look after your stuff then I am not going to buy you anything else. I am not spending all this money on your shoes if you are going to leave than at kindy ..

I am tired of you losing things..

he ranted on and on about the shoes today .. I said to him her shoes are at the front door .. the little black numbers with the sparkles.

He stormed back in and said they are not hers .. whos are they .. I said they are hers .. she wore them home from kindy .. she’s worn them before .. he tells me what shoes she was wearing when he dropped her off and I said Ohhh well like I have said before I have no idea what you drop her off in .. i just pick her up and assume that what she is in is what she was sent in .. I try to get all her stuff together..

BFE says they are my shoes from Mums .. i just forgot I had the other ones . ( she was so sweet)

He turns to BFE and starts on at her again and I step in .. nothings lost .. it is just left at kindy .. and then he says well one pair never came back they are lost .. *** (there is further to this story. )

I said maybe you need to check with your mum what you were like at FOUR when it came to knowing where all your things were .. ( knowing him and his anal ways they were all numbered and stacked in alphabetical lines) he stared at me .. I said ,, you know what .. I will not have you growl at her in my home like this .. she is 4.. they are not lost they are left behind. I said when you growl  at her it makes me feel like I am in trouble and I am not .. I have NO idea what you send her in , when I say get your shoes and she has shoes on I think we are all good , they you come home and start yelling ..

He says I ‘am not yelling .. I said it upsets me and I wont have it. .. I am upset by this . YOU have upset me. ( I nearly bloody cried)

He looks at me and says.. come on BFE .. I tell her to have an awesome weekend and I’ll see ya Monday ..

Yay Monday the start of Mums week, so relaxed ..

The little black shoes are from Mums house .. obviously left at kindy last week .. and found in the shoe box today .. where her little pink numbers will be come Monday .

I gathered up some blankets and tried to fold them .. my hands shaking .. my breath catching in my throat , my eyes stinging with tears .. he really did rattle my cage today .. and I burst into tears and howled for 5 mins. What a wonderful way to end the day / week.

I cried and cried and went over and over in my head the scenario. .. he is just so unfair .. I wish I was able to yell at him and tell him to get over it.. its a pair of freaking shoes.. not lost , just left at kindy..

*** Oh this is the other part to the story of the lost shoes .. they really are lost.

Same story BFE came home from kindy without shoes .. I asked was there any she said they are in my bag I believed her , we left. Dad comes 5 hours later checks the bag phsycs out cos the shoes are not there , they are new , they look like this , they have only been worn so many times .. blah blah blah.. I said well you know what .. I will make a trip down there tomorrow .. I will check and make sure we get them back .. do me a favour .. do not put shoes on .. then I only have to look for the one pair not 2..

Comes the next day I go to collect her .. we search kindy , find the shoes in the shoe basket, come home .. feeling pretty good ..

Dad comes 5 hours later .. sees we have the shoes says wicked .. where are the shoes that you had on today ?? I said WHAT !!! I asked you not to send her in shoes .. so I only had to find one pair .. and becasue I had said that, I never thought to ask for another pair .. she had forgotten them.. sheesh .. so I endured a speech about how they were brand new , pink and black aqua shoes , never worn before .. brand new .. I repeated the" told you not to send her in shoes" and he said well it was raining .. I couldn’t send her bare feet .. Ummm Why the fu*k not !!!?? .. grrrrrr Now I have to search again for the aqua shoes , and these are shoes that I have never seen before , that BFE has only worn the once so she probably don’t remember .. Oi Vay.

The big shoe hunt was on .. no where to be seen .. NO WHERE!!! .. some kid took them home we expect . Oh well Lost .. in 4 years of care we have lost ONE pair of shoes and they were on a day that I told Dad NOT to put any on her.

Mum is so relaxed .. you leave your shoes at kindy , you go bare feet , you leave your jacket at kindy you go with out a jacket ..

I wish I could get that into Dads head ..

I am glad that I will not be dealing with him when she goes to school in May. OMG .. I will miss her like crazy .. him I can do without.

 

 

 

 

 

TTFN..xox