been awhile huh?!

Well, its been 3 months since we lost Grace, March 24th would have been her due date and things are not that easy, i have an appointment with a dr tomorrow to figure out depression medications for me. Things are far worse than I think they would have been, because my BFF and I were 4 weeks apart in our pregnancies and well on Feb 13th she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Yeah it has been rough beyond rough really, I tried so hard to be ok with her still being prego when i lost Grace and when i came time for her to have her daughter i told her I couldnt be there and I have yet to see her daughter and really I dont think I am ready, this next month is going to be so hard. I never thought this was going to be so hard. I also must say no one is making it easy either and I know some people are thinking i should be over this but I am not I try but I cant 🙁 not yet. Well I gotta go have to go to bed my head is hurting more.