Holidays Coming Too Soon

Dearest Diary,

Again i have failed to keep up with you, but at least i have ocassionally kept up with my journal entries, though i have to say since my writing has always been crappy, that after each entry i write, i am more discouraged. For one thing, i was never good at sorting my thoughts into words (as you have probably noticed) and for another, nothing interesting ever happens to me.

However, now that the holidays are pretty much here, i am more and more saddened, for this will be the second year that i spend Christmas away from my family. Yes, i have my husband and cat with me, and Lord knows i love them. But unfortunately, and i am partly ashamed to say, that my family is still held in higher regards than them and this place.

In the end don’t care, for my feelings are as they are, and there’s no changing them as far as i can see. My birthday was on the 4th of this month, and i received a birthday card from my parents and siblings, and i simply bawled. I was extremely close to my mother and sister more than my dad and brother, and it broke my heart to see how much they miss me in the beautiful words they wrote to me. 

But it is a comfort that it gets a little easier not to think of them on a daily basis. We all have our own lives and obligations, but that still doesn’t erase the homesickness i end up with at night.

Maybe i think too much of it. Perhaps i dwell too much in the past to ever really move on. I don’t want to change that really, and i know that’s unhealthy. Oh well.

Anywho, there is one thing i am distracting myself with right now, and that is the Christmas Project for the 20th when the Open House will be hosted at the base where my husband works at, and i was a little popular with the work i did on the Nightmare Before Christmas displays i made last year. So i hope this year, the Dr. Seuss displays will be a success.

I feel useful for once in the entire year, it seems this is the only way i can really contribute. And the only way so far i can make my husband proud of me. Fingers crossed! 

This is all i can muster for tonight, so i will retire and pray for the first time in days. Until next time 🙂