Trying To Keep It Together

Dear Diary,

Today was really nice-the first sunny day in 2 weeks after nothing but rain and thunderstorms, even a tornado warning the other night (that was a blast *eye roll*)

I got to paint today, and i’m closer to finishing Papa Frank’s LOTR painting. The black outlines on the dragons are really bringing out the colors and im trying to make the outlines create a sense of stained glass to them. So far so good, the last thing i will do for that is the clouds once i have a better idea of the foreground.

I also was able to start a new painting on panel rather than canvas, and i figured since i love coffee and have a cute set of oven mitts and pads with a cafe design, why not elaborate the theme in wall art? Besides, i’m tired of how dull my kitchen is becoming to me.

Today was a nice day, wasn’t too hot. We got a lot of nice breezes, and JJ sat on my lap and let my husband and i pet her for a minute or two.

It wasn’t until i was trying to be intimate with my husband that his knack for video games really got to me. My husband is a true gamer, and he has played on his 3DS since he woke up this morning at 6am. It is now 8:18 pm. How the FUCK can he stand to play that damn thing for more so long???? And worst of all, he’s going to a friend’s place tomorrow to play that same game, and he’s going to spend 26 HOURS playing AGAIN!!!!!!

Usually, i don’t have a problem because when he plays his games, i’m painting or cooking, you know-doing my own thing. But today, i tried to have a decent conversation with him, i talked about my godparents and their lack of being in my life, and about how i would probably react when they’re gone, and he just keeps playing his game. Even when i shed a tear or two at the thought, he asks, "Whats wrong hon?"

I just gaped at him. "WHAT WAS I JUST TALKING ABOUT?" Ugh. I just left him to his game and came to you right away before i did something stupid. Well at least i have you, dear diary. Where would i be now if not for you? Probably internally screaming and lashing at myself for even trying to talk like that to my husband. The only time i know we can converse on intimate topics is when we sit face to face at dinner, which is once a week if i’m lucky. 

Well what was i expecting? Honestly. I know how he is. He’s very dense most of the time like his father, only i doubt he’l buy me a skull goblet for my birthday later in our marriage like his dad-and boy was that a bad move. But the chance of Kurt doing something similar is moderately high. I don’t know.

On a lighter note, i found one last starbucks ice coffee in my fridge when i thought i had the last one on Tuesday, so that made me feel better. I try not to be rediculously religious, but i think God cut me some slack for a moment.

I wish i had a friend to converse with about these things. When i lived in my hometown in Cali, i was never far from friends i’ve known for years. Unfortunately here in Omaha, that’s not the case, and people here like to keep to themselves more, so i’ve noticed.  

That’s probably not true, at least i hope so. Ah well. I have my ipod full of new music, Billie Holiday mostly, so i’m just going to go back to painting, then maybe take a shower and huddle in front of the tv with some tea.

Til’ next time, love <3