Pool Party

I spent Friday night at home alone. My parents went out to dinner with my aunt and her husband. I wanted to go, but my left arm went numb and started tingling. It’s been on/off like this for a week now. Have you ever hit your funny bone, or had your arm/leg fall asleep? You know that vibrating feeling that temporarily makes you feel like you’ve lost strength in that appendage? Well it felt like that. I contemplated going to the hospital because I was afraid it was a sign of something serious, but the $150 copay was more than I wanted to pay. I just relaxed and the tingling subsided. It’s still numb though. =/

************************************************************************

Saturday morning I picked up my Bestie and we went to this really cute retro styled hotel downtown. Her sister was celebrating her 28th birthday there. She rented a pool cabana that came with free mimosa’s and energy drinks. I ended up ordering Bloody Marys and Grey Goose shots.

There were about 15 people in our group. We played volleyball in the water. We had a good time. I laughed so much. We were there from 8am – 4pm, then we moved the party to my Bestie’s house. But by the time I got there, the alcohol and sun had drained me. I was buzzing and burned.

I couldn’t help but feel something bittersweet about my Bestie’s new house. Max helped her buy it (he’s a realtor), and I remembered how hard he worked to make the deal go through. This was my first time in her new home. I felt this eery sadness… something about knowing he was there, a ghostly presence. There was also something about seeing my Bestie with her fiance that made me miss hanging out as couples; listening to the guys talk about SportsCenter, while Bestie and I cooked or caught up on office gossip.

I felt out of place suddenly.

I ended up going home and passing out instead.

I woke up this morning thinking about Max a lot… a little more than usual I think. I wonder when this will stop? 

I’m so afraid that I will never love someone as much as I loved him.