Moments of clarity

I have managed to do nothing but drink and sleep for the last 3 days. It’s killing me. How long is this heartache supposed to last?

My best friend hasn’t checked on me, which disappoints me a bit, but I don’t blame her. There’s not much she can do for me anyway.

A few of my male co-workers text me asking me how I’m doing. They keep lecturing me and telling me how my ex is dumb for letting me go… blah… blah… blah. I don’t know if they’re being nice or if they have ulterior motives.

It’s whatever. I’m alone.

But there is beauty in being all alone.

If you can get past all the scary thoughts in your mind, you get to a point where you start making sense of things. After all, that’s why people meditate; to quiet the mind in order to have a moment of clarity.

And I did have one… I realize I need to do something that makes me feel proud of myself.

I need a goal…I need something to reach for instead of a wine bottle. -_-

Does the heartache ever really go away? I think if what you had was real and deep, there’s always going to be a part of you that missed it and aches over it. Doesn’t mean you won’t be happy again. Goals are good. What’s something that makes you happy? I always found myself lost in music while I drew. Something peaceful.

But the introspection is good. Nothing wrong with learning about yourself. Whatever the case, I’m around, we can struggle and rebound together or something.

somerandomguy

July 5, 2013

You once mentioned to me about how you like to write poetry. Get back into that. Write poetry. About Starbucks. ;). And about Gucci purses. 😉 And how you can kick JLo’s ass. 😉 Oh, come on, you had to smile at. You aren’t gonna be alone forever and ever. 🙂 It’ll happen when it will. Promise. 🙂 Have a good night, my friend. 🙂 Neil

You should do it then. It’ll definitely keep you occupied and motivated. And I only say that because I still find myself missing my first real love, I just don’t think there’s an end to some things. But it just means it was real. I guess there’s just steps.. The pain and self destruction will eventually lead to something better.

RYN: Make cookies. Cakes. Oooo, make muffins. Especially blueberry. Hmmmm.. you should plan out a trip to Canada. And try to befriend an Eskimo. Or you should buy up everything online. Like each and every single items that is online, buy it out. You’ll find that goal that you are looking for, my friend. Like everything else, time will laid out everything for the best for you. 🙂

Jack

July 13, 2013

hugs