Song NOT(!!!) to listen to during a breakup.

"Far Far Away"–Tyga

So, I should explain how and why I heard this song–hoping it doesn’t make me sound too much like a sleeze.  LOL.

Yesterday, was supposed to have an advising meeting at my alma mater State, as I’m looking to get into the Secondary Education program (will explain that later).  My meeting was supposed to be at 2 pm.  I had scheduled the meeting on Monday, with the intention of going home on Tuesday (it’s halfway between Big City and State) and then driving to State on Wednesday for the meeting. 

Guess who lives 8 miles from State?  Deric… the guy who BROKE my heart a week ago.  (If you’d like more info/details, refer to previous 2 entries.  Or 3.  Or 4.  Sad, I know).  So I decided that in order for me to get ANY type of closure, as he broke up with me over the phone, I would need to see him in person to put a lid on it and bury it.  Whether or not that was a good idea, well, that doesn’t matter now–but was going to meet him when he got off work at 7:30. 

So yesterday morning, as I’m getting ready to leave for State, my advisor calls and needs to reschedule for the next day as she’ll be out of town…and the first thing I thought of?  DAMN.  Can’t meet Deric tonight.  :/  I honestly and truly was looking forward to it, just so I could talk to him in person.  Well, I reschedule my meeting for 10 this morning, and immediately decide that it’d be a good idea to stay at ex-boyfriend’s house, so I don’t have to get up early and go to my meeting at State.  That way, I can do two things:

A)  Meet with Deric.  And ultimately accomplish what I set out to do, as STUPID as that may be.
B)  Hook up with Mike in hopes that’ll help me get over Deric. 

Yep, those were my intentions.  So yesterday, I meet with Deric.  I didn’t necessarily say all the things I needed to say, but even so, I’m glad I saw him and it actually DID help me to put a lid on it.  It’s air apparent that the kid is over me, faster than a track star over a hurdle.  Oh well.  However, and I had somehow anticipated this, my feelings came back for him.  Making last night and today hard.  When I saw him, I wanted NOTHING more then to just go home with him, crawl in his bed and watch a movie with him.  Can’t do that anymore.  🙁

I met him and then headed back to Mike’s house, where I hung out with his summer roommate for awhile (who is super cool, AND hot).  Then Mike got home from work, we kissed (which actually felt good except for he’s a TERRIBLE kisser) and he was trying so hard to hook up with me.  He played some music (funny, just like old times) and started REALLY trying to get somewhere.  One song came on, the Tyga song "Far Far Away", and I immediately felt my heart drop.  I don’t know what it was/is about this song, knowing that Deric is SO far away but I want him back…because I do, and miss hm.  So even though I was zero percent wanting to hook up with Mike anyway, I DEFINITELY didn’t want to after hearing that song.  Even though it’s kinda backwards, Tyga is singing about how he hurt the girl and now he wants her back.  For me, I was the one hurt even though I did nothing wrong. 

I suggest you all listen to it.  NOT if you’re going through a break up.  Then it just f-ing SUCKS. 

Well, I’m hitting up the gym.  I Have more to say, I’ll continue later 🙂  

Much love everyone!

-Elle.