I love Open Diary.

After being a devout OD member for four years, can honestly say this little thing has proved to be very beneficial… especially in my chaotic, unbalanced life!

With that being said–a few thoughts to share.

Going back to school?!

As I’ve mentioned before, I want to go back to school to get my teaching degree, as stupid as it may be, especially in my state where there are mass budget cuts in the teaching department.  Oh well though, it’s what I want to do.  I’ve actually  kind of lied to/fooled myself into thinking teaching would never be in my realm–but alas, it is.  My dream is to help kids, especially high school kids, in figuring out what they want to do.  I never had that guidance.  I think I want to get my secondary education degree, and then from there maybe go on to get my Masters and/or Counseling degree.  Who knows?  Anyway, called my alma mater today and went ahead and set up an appointment with an advisor to see what my options are.  I’m actually kind of nervous; nervous to be told it won’t work out when I so desperately want it too.  I mean, I can always go back to school another time, and go to another school, but would LOVE to return to State.  I am hoping something will work out. 

Just going back to school will also help me to get my life back on track.  That’s such a Catch 22, especially as a college grad, but I feel as though I’m young enough to go back and take advantage of the resources people have in college, such as career fairs, advisors, and above all, making new friends!  And even if teaching doesn’t work out, just having that extra degree will probably be a HUGE help, and open up a lot of new doors for me.  

DERIC #2… (The now EX-boyfriend)

I call him Deric #2 because IRONICALLY, he has the same name as my bro who is known in MY life as Deric #1.  I’m still at a loss for words on the whole ordeal.  But whatever.  I’m basically faced with a dilemma here–after he broke up with me, I had mentioned to him that I wanted to see him one last time for closure; to say things to him and to have him actually tell me he doesn’t love me anymore, to my face.  Since I will be in State on Wednesday, which is 8 miles from where he lives, would it be a good idea to see him?  Or would that just be terrible?  I might write a new entry to ask readers what they think.

Now that I’m in Big City…

I signed a 6 month lease at my house.  Therefore, if I DO go back to school, it starts in August!  So I may have to find a way to forgo my last two months on my lease.  That might be a problem…Also, will be leaving my job in August too, and am I really letting go of an awesome opportunity?…but of course this is all depending on how my meeting goes with the advisor.  AGAIN WITH THE VICIOUS CIRCLES!  For damn sake.

Oh well.  I decided that this summer, will just IMMERSE myself in working out, working, and volunteering.  Why not?  UGH I’m just hoping that I can get into school in the fall.  Then, I can hang out with Haylie!  And be close to her…as she is my best/only friend right now.  And it might be fun in Big City!  I do have a friend here, Mick, we went to high school together–well kinda, I think he was a senior when I was a freshman–and he is CONSTANTLY inviting me to go out as he lives in Big City.  And, I always turn him down lol.  Cuz I had a boyfriend and I’m pretty sure he was looking for more.  Well maybe I will now!  And just go get crazy and have fun!  Why the heck not.  🙂
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Well anyway, I’m going to clean my room (it’s driving me CRAZY), pack and get ready to head home tonight and for State on Wednesday for my meeting…and potentially a meeting with Deric :/, head to the gym after that, TAN!  Cuz boy do I look a LOT better tanning.  Then head home 🙂  So it should be a pretty good day!  Just need to get some motivation eh?! 🙂

Much love everyone!

-Elle.