Thursday Morning

March 22,201

I am up. I had a good nights sleep. I went to bed late around 9 I have no weird dreams to report.  My necks is very stiff and arthritis  in my hip is acting up. Other than that I feel pretty good.  I did a little reading last night. I got tired and went to bed Nothing much to write about. Ok I ordered pizza  and chessie bread from Papa Johns last night. It was pretty good.  I did a ba d thing. I used my credit card  I am so far in debt with the credit card company that I just didn’t care. I figured i might as well add another $20 to it.

One thing I can write about is my neighbor Tom. He right down below me. Tom has a vendetta against me. He swears up and down that I am playing my music very loud at 3 am. He complained to George a bout me and tried to get me evicted. He started all kinds of nasty rumors about me such as I had sex with my caregivers. One time he was saying that the reason Anne and I got together again was that I paid her rent. Everything he says is a bunch of lies. He hates me and I never did a thing to him.

Stephanie my caregiver was telling me about Tom. I was telling her that I really don’t care what Tom or anyone else in the building things about me. I said the day he starts paying my rent is the day I will start to worry about what he thinks. But a part of me does care. It kind of bothers me that there is someone out there who hates me so bad that they will spend time making up lies and trying to get me evicted. I say I don’t care but I do worry about it.  I guess I do worry about what people in here are saying about me.

I think this is one reason why I don’t like to leave my apartment. I think everyone in the building hates me.  I keep thinking they are saying shit about me and laughing at me behind my back. If this is truly the case then the feeling is mutual. I do not like a lot of people in this building. I do not trust them. Only one person in the building I completely trust and that is Anne.

I don’t know. Sometimes I think I am a real nut case for feeling the way I do. I actually ask myself is my thinking based on fact There are a hell of a lot of  tenants in this building. They all cannot hate me. They probably do not know me or don’t give much of a shit  either way. I know of at least two who does hate me and that is Wayne and Tom. Also I cannot read people’s m ind.  I couldn’t tell you what is going on in my head half the time let alone somebody else. I know this is an irrational thought but it is engraved in my stupid head.

I could go on about it but what is the point? I just go round and round in my head and there is no end. I prefer not to think about this shit too much. This is one reason why I read a lot. I escape into a world of books. MY mind is focused on a good book and I am not worried about anything.  Speaking of books I think that is what I’m going to get into now.