window washers
The coffee club men are loud. Loud, hilarious, and dirty. They have no sensor! I suppose they alowed to be! Their many years on Earth have earned them that right!
I woke up early this morning with the alarm screaming at me. I wanted to shout back " what the hell did you do that for? You asshole" How dare the alarm do such a thing. But I obeyed. I got up slowly and not so thrilled to face the day! I was cold and wanted to snuggle in my blankets for a few hours more! To bad for me huh? I performed my usual routine, pee, brush teeth, weigh myself, hate myself, shower myself, dry myself, dry hair while still naked, makeup, dress myself, stare at myself in the mirror, hate myself some more!
While doing my makeup this morning I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under my eyes. I know they have been there, but today they seemed a bit darker. Or perhaps I was a bit more aware this morning. I hate it, my eyes look like they are trying to hide in the shadows! No amount of makeup seems to cover it. Its a wasted effort! I don’t like to wear a lot of makeup, Im not good at doing makeup anyway. I just have to face the world looking forever tired. But I guess I am, so I face the world in an honest state! I can only hide under so much. Faces reveal a lot! I should invest in a nice mask. Make it Halloween everyday! In a way I do make it Hallloween everyday, pretending to be just fine, faking smiles and laughter, disguising in sanity! Its a legit costume, it looks so real, most never know whats underneath. With the exception of a small few of course. They have the ability to see through the costume with x-ray vision. Super heroes in a sense! Or is it that they too wear or have worn costumes and know how to spot another? Either way I appreciate their ability, It allows me to strip down and peel back the layers to reveal the real me! Its not often I do that. Sometimes I even forget that their is a real me underneath! Wearing the costume is much easier. Its funny how pretending can be easier than being real. A lot of effort goes into the pretending, its an act you have to keep up, Yet I, and many others choose the costume over reality! I hope one day that I will find the confidence to face the whole world as the real me. I think then that my happiness will occur more often!
Its beyond cold in the coffee house! Im freezing! I wish I brought along a blanket. That wouldn’t look strange at all! I really don’t have much to do until work. I took Isaac to school this morning but I don’t have to pick him up this afternoon, which leaves more free time. I could take advantage of this, and accomplish something productive. My room is in a sad state of disaster, I could use the time to clean, but I really don’t feel like it. My car is a complete mess as well! But cleaning my car seems like an awful idea at the moment. I really hate cleaning cars, I don’t know why! I’m finished my ice coffee and feel like I am wearing out my welcome at the coffee house, not to mention my ass hurts. These chairs could stand to be a little more comfortable! Going home never ends well, I usually find a way to be destructive. I have worn out my interest in many of the shops around, I need to take a break from them. I don’t know what I’m going to get into now! I could drive around town listining to music, but gas is to expensive to waste like that and Im pretty poor! I forgot to bring my book along with me this morning, I could have gone to a park and read for a little. Its beautiful outside! I can always read outside at home, but its not the same.
Im pretty sure Santa Clause has joined the coffee club bunch. Its uncanny! Except the attire, but If I wers Santa, I wouldn’t want to dress in that suit year round! Santa is just like the rest of us, he does enjoy wearing summer clothes…so perhaps it really is Santa! Maybe its why the coffee house is so cold though, they are keeping it comfortable for him. He deserves that I’d say. Seeing how awesome he is and all!