Fear-ranting

I think that I
have been around
to many couples. I
really do not know
what so do. I just real
like ranting. I am a little
upset that no fam is coming
to my graduation but I will
get over it.I can not wait to
move to VA and be a couch potatoes.

I need to find a job. I am going to
start acting more like me. I am going to

get tested next week for everything I do not

have unprotected sex but I just do it after I
end a sexual something. I think I have had sex with
to many people, 5, I hope I am not lable a slut. But I
have had sex less that 70 time ever. I think I should stop
having sex. I wish I could not having sex, thereare alternative

but that gets boring, or does it. I thinkI am a mess in life and
future or base I have bad luck with guys. But when I get one I just
want them to go away. I like Will but he does not make a move. I talk
to guys but they do not make a move. I wonder if I am ugly. My friends tell
me I am not. But I do not always believe them. I wish I understood. Why do
guys like to us girls for sex. I think it is because we let them. I have to
stop having sex without being in a relationship. I think I do these stupid
things becauseI am lonely. Is it possible to want something and be
afraid of that something. I should go back to work.