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B just left.
Its the second time he has stayed the night now.
Its that delicious routine of sleep, sex, sleep, sex, sleep, sex.
Totally entangled in eachother, the bed covers just a mess and we end up asleep across the bed instead of up and down it.

Its long and drawn out and just in that amazing stage of not being able to get enough of eachother, hands and skin and tongues and lips..I still have him on my skin, my skin is feeling exfoliated from his stubble, and I’m still feeling the slow trail of kisses he left down my body before leaving this morning.

God life is good right now.
When I started this journey into trying to loose weight, I just felt that I would stop trying to meet anyone, like purposefully avoid meeting anyone, and when I was ready to then I just thought I would.  I just thought that it would come…

I have lost over 20kg, started getting back into life again, because – now  feel like I deserve to, and then suddenly this thing between B & I explodes into life, when 3 weeks ago it was just conversation and slight glances.
Now I feel good, and I look good, and I am ready to let my walls down and just get involved in feeling happy and completely being myself.
And whats even better is that B & I have been working together for the last 12 months, he knows my good’s and bads, he see’s me without makeup and tired and stressed, angry, busy, happy, laughing, and over 20kg’s heavier, he has seen it all and there is no need to hide any of that, I really can just let myself be me.

And trust me, after my last relationship that itself is amazing.
Not only did I not feel myself almost as soon as Ike & I started dating, he actually made me feel quiet withdrawn, but by 5 months into the relationship, I knew he was fucking around on me, and so for the last end of our "relationship" you only can imagine,  I was totally withdrawn.

Zombiefied Kip.

I can’t even begin to compare. I don’t what to.
Its not comparable.

I can’t remember Ike and I ever being in that lust up stage. 
I can’t remember Ike and I ever rolling around on the bed in fits of giggles and almost falling off the bed, acting like kids.

I can’t remember wanting him so badly.

Now, Today I am off work.
I am meeting a girlfriend for lunch today and will do my tax (Yes!)
Then this evening, I will go out with Owen and have a couple of drinks at a quiet bar.

I was supposed to be going out tonight, drinking, partying, but B is going as well, and I don’t trust myself to be with him, around him, drinking, out of work and not slip up.
Its with Sheraton staff… so after talking last night, I told him to go and have a good time with the guys, and even though he asked me to be there, if I am there and relaxed and just having a good time, I can’t trust myself and him, to not just kiss him, or even trail my fingers down his arm without thinking that this is secret.  I can’t trust either of us not to slip up I some way.  Even us just looking at eachother the way you do when your having sex with someone isn’t something I can do in a booth of 15 close knit staff…
He can go.

Then he can come home to me.  Lol
Oh what a tangled web we weave…..

Its been 1 hour and 20 minutes.

My t’shirt smells like him

Kip