Day Three. Dear Mum. Dear Dad

 

 

CONCEPT.
30 DAYS , 30 UNSENT LETTERS.

 

Day 1 — Your oldest friend
Day 2 — Your crush / significant other
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/Ex-girlfriend
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind — good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of time
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Mum,

You know I think this has been the best thing in a long time to happen to our relationship.
I have learnt who you are again, you have become a confidant, a friend, and a mum again.

I guess you know after I left home at 17, I moved away from Christchurch and its been a rare thing for us to even be in the same country let alone within walking distance of eachother.

And finally we are in the same place in the same time and its been awesome.

I was wondering how it would be, you have been like a tide in my life.  We have been close, then we have been very strained and far apart, but you have always always been there for me, no matter what, and I sincerly apprieciatte all you have done for me.

Time is coming that it looks like we are going separate ways again, geographically.
Either you or I or both of us are going to be moving on from Port.
And I can honestly say just how much I am going to miss having you around.
And Mojo, he just loves his Grandma to bits and sometimes I think you just come around to see Mojo.  
Well I know you do. lol.

God, you were 19, with a baby and how hard it must of been to carry on, on your own after deciding Dad wasn’t worth the heartache… 
I understand that, it was never going to survive, the 2 of you are just polar opposites, but you did an amazing job, being able to buy a house and taking care of me.

There are things you could have handled better. Times in our lives that maybe I shouldn’t have been privvy to things.. 
Things that happened that shouldn’t have happened more than once. 
But I have to remember just how young you were. 
I can’t possibily imagine myself at my age now and with a 17 Year old.   Lol….. Now is about the time you were telling me off about riding on the backs of Motorbike’s, and finding condom wrappers under my bed.
How would I handle that now, being the person I am with a 17 year old runabout daughter, like I was.

I honestly can’t imagine.

Thanks Mum.  For doing the best you could.
For being the coolest Mum out of my group of friends.
For taking care of me.  The years of advice.
The hardships, the healing, the weekly breakfasts and showing Mojo stacks of love and peanut butter treats..

Love you.

Kerri

Dad,

Dad.  Such personal name, a name that should be used with love and affection and some type of emotional link.  But.  I just don’t have that.
It not even like your my "dad".  Too me, over the years of trying my hardest to form some sort of relationship with you, you have just sunk to being a sperm donor.

I don’t resent you in anyway.  I know you were really young and you and mum, well basically I was a drunken mistake made between a Porter and a housemaid of a hotel in Victoria one season, and I know that you and mum were in a relationship… but yes…. you were 18 & 17, and I was a mistake.

You might have tried to form something with me.  I really don’t know.  But what happen’s now your older and should know better is different.

You do say those, well you have said those things about me being your daughter and how you love me blah blah blah, but actions speak so much louder than words Dad.
I recently discovered that I have a older sister.  She was born 9 months before I was. Her name is Mary.  She contacted me on facebook. Through you, and yet, you didn’t think to maybe tell me first.  My mum has idea Mary exists, so thanks for that…

I had 2 conversations with her, finding out she is a chip off the old block, a speed addict, a grandmother to 3 at the age of 37, really. 
Right from your side of the family Dad.

I know about your speed addiction, that you were stealing from Mum when you came to NZ, and that’s how it ended. 
And once you went back to Australia, you never really wrote to me.  I had to hunt you down when I was 16, & going through some sort of need to find out who my family was, I found you, and we taking on the phone. Once.  Since then, it has been a small fistful of letters, a couple of facebook messages.  You, your daughter after me, and your son are all of my facebook friends list.  Your daughter wrote me many letters when she was about 15 years old.  I wrote back everytime, till she stopped.  Now she is a mother of 3, living near Melbourne.  I have lived near all of you at some stage,driving right through your hometown 2004, and living 15 minutes away from your parent in Victoria. A couple of years ago,   But I have no desire to ever meet any of you.
Your not family to me, and although that may sound harsh to alot of people, I believe family comes from who you are and what you bring to peoples lives, not just by blood.  You have never tried to make me family, beyond blood, and I don’t know, I almost feel like I want to delete you from facebook as well.  Do I really need you in my life, as just a profile picture and never anything else.
I have tried, I have tried to write and tell you about my life, but I can only try so much.

I am thankful that your other kids got more than I did.

Kerri