I’m still here?…

Ten years… I am one that has a real good memory of events but a terrible sense of timeline.. I remember clearly the event but did it happen 3 years ago?  5 years ago?  10?…  The fact that its been 10 years since my last entry blows me away.   Just getting the email that Open Diary was back up and running has caused me to flash back to so many things… when the internet for the most part was new to me…and just the powerful emotions that I had towards people…and yes even the love I felt for someone that I never met.   Coming back here has caused me to think of her again…just the specialness that we had and even now…the reality that I have never felt that same deep love for anyone since.  Yes there has been others…but it hasn’t been the same without her…she was married and it was probably doomed to fail but I honestly wish now that I would have gotten on that plane to spend that weekend with her.. because at least I would know…one way or the other…but I am left here…wondering…