Goodbyes…

Zakk deployed today.  I suppose that’s really all I have to say to get my point across.  Being a woman of many words I will say more.  The weather seemed to be destined to match my mood, and it just made the day worse.  It poured buckets all day to the point where I had to swim to class.  It started out warm but the raining made the day get very very cold. 
Look at that… I don’t know what to say…  I’m talking about the weather for petes sake.  It’s just that it doesn’t feel like I expected it to.  I haven’t cried yet, except for a couple tears at 4:30 this morning after he called to say goodbye. I know I will.  It just doesn’t seem real yet. 
I’m scared.  I don’t know how this works.  This is our first deployment and it’s all so new.  I have no idea if he’ll be able to call or email.   and the marines are supposed to be the first force… that means doing new stuff, like kicking down doors and shooting people… I don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully understand what he’ll go through, that doesn’t stop me from being afraid though.
It’s just… it’s been a very hard day.
Crystal