Feeling down

Last Saturday night was our official ‘apartment warming and kitten extravaganza’ for the new apartment. I was looking forward to having people over and eating sushi, but I mentioned offhand to Dan that Emily was still on the ‘attending’ list.

“Oh. I asked her about that,” he said. “She said screw Ryan; I’m definitely not coming.” This sort of rolled off his tongue nonchalantly and I made some comment about wishing things had worked out differently, but it’s been bothering me ever since.

Don’t get me wrong, the party was a great time. Kristen from work was the first person to show up, only thirty minutes late. Then, a little later, came Matt, Scott, and Seth. We went down to Minato for sushi and a couple of jumbo sakes. I had a feeling that the jumbo size was sort of a ripoff, but Seth kept ordering it anyway. Needless to say, we got a bit drunk by the end of the evening. When the sushi came out, it was all on one giant plate; though Dan and Scott hadn’t ordered any, there was a lot to go around.

Speaking of, Dan has been bothering me a lot lately. It’s not just that he’s talking to Emily behind my back. He has to right to be friends with her still, I guess, but he seems like such a mercenary person. He’s sort of seeing this girl Mary from work, but she stands him up 90% of the time. Nonetheless, he’ll put off any attempt at making plans with me until he finds out what she’s doing or if she’s going to come over. I asked him if he wanted to go swing dancing on Monday and he said, “Eh, I’d only go to meet girls anyway and now I’m seeing Mary.”

I feel like I’m only a friend to him for a long as I’m useful, but as soon as he meets someone else or gets a job somewhere else, he’s just going to leave and say fuck it. He’s also been really negative, complaining endless about the science center even when we’re on our way to work, tempting me to play video games instead of doing work, and just generally moping around the apartment in a bad mood. Drives me crazy!

But yeah, Emily. It didn’t really hit me that I was feeling bad about it until Sunday when I saw Snoot’s wall said “Heading out with friends for the last day of Renn Fest.” I had planned to go with Emily, but the plans fell through and I never ended up going. I guess the up side is that she won’t have to chance to ruin any more of my weekends by making plans with her that he’s going to cancel, but I’m still kind of bummed that she’s making me out as a bad guy in this whole thing.

Oh well, c’est la vie. Haven’t I been on the other side of the table? Maybe she’ll understand when a couple of years goes by, maybe not. I would have stuck with her through the long run, in any case, if I hadn’t felt like the relationship was making her miserable. What can you do?