A little added incentive (and a sidebar)

I’ve decided to buckle down and lose 10 lbs before class starts the 17th. I know it’s not super important and probably won’t be visibly noticeable, but I’ve built it up in my head as something that will make me much more comfortable with social anxiety I face about this whole ordeal. I’m sure most of my weight-issue sisters know what I’m talking about. Everyone has those days they feel gross and fat and bloated. It’s like feeling like that, and then all this pressure to be in a social setting and worried you aren’t going to feel accepted or fit in the seat, and just everything of that nature. Ahhh.

So incentive for this new push is that I spent $30 on running shorts from champion. They carry plus-sized shorts for women (I know it’s IMPOSSIBLE to find anything above walmart status for big girls to work out in…. and even though I’ll prolly be out of those shorts soon because they’ll be too big, I’m glad to support any sportswear company that caters to big girls). I bought one pair of those, and two of the men’s ones because THEY don’t ride right up my ass cheeks when I’m on the elliptical at the gym a few inches in front of any anonymous Mr. Hottiepants that happens to be there. They have a 20% off AND free shipping thing going on, so added to the fact that the shorts were on clearance… it was big savings for merch that would’ve been $58 plus shipping. I’m excited about my saving skills, shut up! Hopefully they come soon. I LOVE cute-feeling athletic clothes. The goal is to get up and work out in the am before work, because then it’s over with for the day and I don’t have to worry about it and put it off all the rest of the time I’m awake, yaknow? I really love being awake before everyone else, and I’m sure my little butt Nugget would appreciate the walks. I’d like to start it now so that by the time I get to starting class (particularly the days I start at 7am) I’ll get up, go to the GYM first, then come home and shower and get ready for class, go to class, and then I’d have from 3 on to do whatever I wanted with my day!

So far, my updated schedule is Mondays 10-2:30 on campus, and Wednesdays 7-2:30ish. Then Tues/Thurs/Fri, I’ll work with my regular job I work now, and hopefully watch the new family I care for sometimes on those afternoons. That’d be great. I’m in Trigonometry, Biology, Bio Lab, Race and Ethnicity in the U.S., and Intro to art (HA!). I’m waiting for an email back from my advisor to let me take another class that makes sense in my majors/goals. It’s really important that I buckle down and get a great GPA, so I’m trying to make sure I don’t overload and stay ahead every step of the way. I’m ready to do this!

I’m really making strides and it feels great, and overcoming all the FEAR behind trying to be a better me is really starting to happen.

I should mention I’m terribly behind in my summer classes because I’ve been so excited about this fall semester. This weekend is all about shutting down, shutting out, and catching up. I need to just PASS them, not necessarily get straight A’s, but make sure I get all those credits so my associate’s is handed to me on a platter come the end of August. GEEZ. So much to do, so little time to do it!

Also, a few weeks/months ago I saw someone have a ‘sudden idea’ about the same sort of thing I’d already posted about creating myself after noting me a few days before, and I started to get selfishly upset. I’ve noticed a lot that most people have their diaries on friends only, and that they leave one entry for people to note them on and privatize all the rest. I now see the benefit in that, since I’m still miffed about the whole ordeal (I’m trying to be nice here and not name names and be all pointy fingered and stupid about a blog, really but I AM a great little gossip at heart so if you’d like to know about it, just tell me and I’ll gossip away! Ha). So shortly I’ll be privatizing all my entries save for the given one for invites. If you’d like to stay on just let me know and I’ll add you so you can keep reading all my rants and raves (mostly rants). Even if you’re a lurker and never really comment and I’ve never seen YOUR diary, I don’t mind, just let me know 🙂