Feeling a little low today…

 So. Things are going alright.

I had a great weekend, and granted this week already sucks, at least Friday is payday right?

Tomorrow is Wednesday. I’m not sure what I’m doing. I’ll probably go walk around after work or something. I need to start going for my walks again. I’m gaining weight and I don’t like it. I like my 105 pounds… I’ve gained like 7 pounds in the past week and it’s seriously driving me crazy… I know it’s not a drastic weight gain, but I can’t stand in. It needs to go. Now.

I’m feeling kind of shitty tonight. I don’t know why… I just want to be with John… I miss him so much… It’s ripping me apart. Especially since I’ve had nightmares for the past two nights… I can never sleep well without him anymore. I toss and turn and wake up at all hours… It sucks…

In other news, Gino and I still aren’t talking very much… It hurts… A lot honestly. It’s fucking horrible, but I guess in the end all I want is to see a smile on his face, and if it’s easier for him to do that without me in his life so be it. I wish him the best. I’m sure we will still talk on occasion, but it’s just not the same… I was so sure we’d spend tons of time together now that he’s home… Guess that was stupid on my part…

Other than feeling abandoned right now, I’ve started reading again. I finished the book Go Ask Alice last night in under three hours, and I’ve started on the next book; Lucy In The Sky. I love reading… I’m so lame…

I miss Tori a lot too… There is just so much that I want to talk about, and at the same time I have no idea what I would say or where to begin… It sucks…

I don’t know. I’m just not real cheery tonight…..

I’m gonna go. Sit on my roof and read my book. Smoke some cigarettes. I really should quit. Anyone know if it’s true that the patch gives you nightmares and makes you sick?

<3CaseyRenee<3