Still the same

We are headed back to Philly tomorrow for the 2-month follow up.  Hard to believe it’s been two months since my surgery. There is still some healing left to do, but I think everything is progressing nicely.  I can go about normal daily life without any problems and I have completely stopped with pain medication.  What I hope for the appointment this week is that she approves me to go back on hormones.  I don’t really feel like myself these days and I think the reason is that I haven’t been taking hormones.

Easter was a quiet holiday, like it usually is.  Guy and I went up to my father’s place and had Easter dinner with him and Susan.  Other than asking how my recovery is going, neither of them mentioned the surgery and I appreciated that.  I’m tired of talking about.  The parts of my body that anyone ever sees other than Guy have not changed at all.  I’m still the same woman I was before the surgery.

I’ve actually had several people congratulate me on "becoming a woman" when I had the surgery and it annoys me a little.  I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy and self-contemplation to realize I was born female.  The hormones and the surgery didn’t make me a woman, they just helped me have a body I can feel comfortable in.  

A lot of people look down on women that have breast implants, but after everything I have gone through I can completely understand why a woman would do it.  No one would ever say that a flat-chested woman is not a real woman, but having breasts is feminine and that can be important to a lot of women.  If I hadn’t developed large breasts from the hormones I would definitely have gotten implants.  I’m lucky that the hormones gave me C cups, which from what I understand is highly unusual.  My doctors attribute it mostly to how young I was when I started taking them.  One doctor told me that I was still going through the end stages of male puberty when my body switched gears and started female puberty.  I like that.

I have celebrated a little by going shopping.  OK, I’ve celebrated A LOT by going shopping.  I can finally buy clothes that fit more snugly in the crotch.  Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it’s been nice to buy styles of clothes that I couldn’t before.  Here’s a photo of me at work in a new dress.