Tuesday night tradition
I’ve been watching Arrested Development on Hulu. Not sure exactly why I started but I’ve become a fan of the show. And now I am hearing that there is talk of bringing the show back with the original cast for at least one season as perhaps a movie. Could be fun. My first reaction when I started watching the show was that it was a little ahead of its time. I think if it were on the air now it would be a lot more popular than it was ten years ago.
And I admit I’m really enjoying Portia de Rossi, wife of Ellen DeGeneres. Not in a sexual way, more of a wow-I-wish-I-looked-that-good kind of way.
I went out for Vietnamese food with tonight with Kaitlin, one of my only friends these days. It’s become a Tuesday night tradition for us and we always go to the same place. The guys that work there don’t speak much English, but they have our order memorized and it feels comfortable to eat there. Kaitlin is one of the people in my life that I am close to that never knew me as anything other than a woman and I like it that she isn’t comparing me to memories of Tom the way I imagine most people do.
Just mentioning the name Tom feels weird to me. I don’t regret my past, and I suppose I should be grateful that by the time I was a teenager I had already figured out something was wrong. But thinking back to all those years of gender dysphoria makes me feel uncomfortable. I wish I had been Rachel from the very beginning.
But just with anyone’s past…it makes them who they are today. You may wish you were Rachel the whole time, but you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the things and people and situations you do now, in the same way. Be proud of where you came from, and be proud of where you are going! 🙂 Not many people have the courage that you do to become who they really want to be.
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You have been Rachel from the very beginning =)
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You’ve always been you, only it takes us a while to discover our selves. I find out more about my self all the time, and I wish I’d been the secure woman I am now in my childhood, but the trouble is I have always been me, it just took my childhood experiences to make me appreciate who and what I am. I figure the same goes for you hun, you’ve always been a woman, you just had to find your self x
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