My contribution

I was thinking yesterday about how much satisfaction I got from this diary back when I wrote in it on a daily basis and thought I would write another entry today.  I’d love to go back to writing often, but I’m not necessarily committing to that just yet.  Over the last year or so I have written just to update my diary on what is going on in my life.  I don’t take the time to reflect on things the way I would like.  I miss that.  

Today Cindy started the process of moving.  Lucky for her she and Jayson didn’t need to get it all done today because we’re not kicking them out.  I feel bad for people that have to do an entire move in one day because it’s a lot of work.  Of course, what makes Cindy really "lucky" is that she is eight months pregnant so she didn’t have to really do any of the work.  However, I think I would rather have to move heavy boxes than have a baby sitting on my bladder 24 hours a day.

I didn’t help with the moving much either.  I did cook lunch for everyone that came over to help.  I guess that’s my contribution.  

And what all that really means is I didn’t have to go to either of my parents’ houses for Easter.  We just sort of acted like Easter didn’t exist.  I like it that way.  I hate family holidays.

My job at the LGBT center is coming to an end.  It was a temporary position that ended up lasting a lot longer than expected, so I can’t complain.  And the truth is that I’m ready to move on from there.  I like contributing to the "cause."  I like the fact that the organization promoted ending discrimination.  But I feel like I will always just be stereotype if I’m a transgirl working at a LGBT place.  I want to have a "normal" job.  I don’t know if that makes sense.  I guess it’s the fact that I know I will always fit in at a place like that.  I want to fit in in the real world.  I want to have a job where the fact that I’m trans isn’t a vital part of who I am, but where people just see me as a woman.

So I need to start looking for a job.  I’m not exactly earning a whole lot my lifeguarding at the pool on weekends.  I know my mom could probably get me an intern position at some law firm, and considering I’m a pre-law student that would probably be a good thing.  I’m just not feeling it.