How wonderful it is

I’ve been meaning to update for several weeks now.  Every time I write an entry, I think to myself how happy I am to have a diary and that I really should write more often.  But then I don’t.  I have several pieces of big news:

1.  Guy and I have decided to plan our wedding for next summer.  We don’t want to do anything too big, but we realize even a small wedding will take some planning.  Having had to suffer through the weddings of both of my parents in the last few years, I really don’t any major production.  I do want to wear a dress and have some family and friends present.  So we’re still in the process of figuring out the size of the wedding. It seems like I’m going to be the first of my friends to get married, so I don’t have good or bad experiences with other people’s weddings that I can use to figure out how I want to do mine.  I think I’m going to have to read online and make it up as I go.  In some ways I am really looking forward to it, but in some ways I just want to get it over with.  

2.  I have discussed it with Guy and my therapist and I think I want to schedule my surgery for about this time next year.  The wedding will be over and hopefully things will be settling down a little in our lives.  As sure as I am that this is what I want to do, it’s still a big decision to know I will go to sleep and wake up without a penis.  

3. Cindy is pregnant.  Barely 18 and having her second child.  None of us really know what to make of this.  She has turned into a different person since finding out she is pregnant and is most likely clinically depressed.  Jayson has been extremely supportive and she has been seeing her therapist as much as twice a week.  I’m actually a little worried about her.  Her personality changed last time she was pregnant but I think that was hormonal.  This time I think she is really upset about being pregnant.  I guess I don’t blame her.

I think that’s it for big news.  That’s plenty.

A few weeks ago my moms decided they were going on one final nudist trip of the season.  It was a Saturday when both Guy and Jayson were home from work so we all went with them.  It took a little convincing on my part because I have been avoiding nudist things lately.  I feel uncomfortable exposing myself because for the most part I think I can pass as a woman so long as my penis isn’t visible.  But we ended up having a really good time.  I had forgotten how wonderful it is to swim nude, and I am now looking forward to being more active in nudism after my surgery.

I’m back in school.  Very busy with school and two jobs, and I’m thinking I may have to give up lifeguarding at the pool.  It’s an indoor pool, so I could continue it year-round, but it just leaves me with very little time at home.  And since I single-handedly take care of the house, I suppose I need to be around to do that.  The place is messy right now and I feel like it’s my fault.  Of course, there are three other people who could clean, but they don’t.

I have officially declared a double-major of pre-law and women’s studies.  I was going back and forth between having WS be a major or a minor, but I am actually enjoying those classes more than anything to do with law, so I figured I would make it a proper major.  

I’m going to make it my goal to write at least weekly.