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i’ve gotten used to the internet
and going to wikipedia dot com
when i need to read about things.

when i started i could come up with stuff
that didn’t have pages yet
after a few months i had read it all:

every entry on the list of defunct shopping malls,
every disaster known to mankind
(accidental, natural, travel, intentional),
every page about every serial killer
even the ones before 1800 in countries i’ll never visit,
the snickers bar (it’s marathon in the UK),
tang,
rice-a-roni (this one didn’t have a page for a long while),
Mr. T,
all the gay characters in fiction/characters believed to be gay,
the lord of the rings (as expansive as one might think),
methods of execution,
every united states president (and the last four prime ministers
of japan),
the beatles,
sandwiches (and every regional variation on the sandwich),
the history of the stanley cup,
death ceremonies in cultures around the world,
technological advances in the meal ready to eat rations of all the
countries who participated in world wars one and two,
all the breakfast cereals,
every sitcom from the list of sitcoms considered the best ever
and every sitcom i could think of that was not on the list,
and every game show,
homeless people that live underground,
rich people that live in the sky,
and every page connected to every one of them

then i started typing in just anything i could see.
peanuts, linens, flashlights, keyboards
glass pipes, hot wheels cars, every book
movie, video game, album on my shelf
screws (very interesting),
miracle whip,
ketchup,
i’ve tried every condiment.

sometimes when i don’t know how
else to feel, or
what else do to,
or hope there’s some sort of
communal knowledge
i go to
wikipedia dot com and search for
depression (factually a mood, disorder, an economic
collapse, an area of low meteorological pressure)
or love or hate or hope or lust or despair (just the opposite of
hope, it says)
panic, anxiety, fear
it never tells me what i’ve got or explains
how i’d find out

it takes me to emotion, to joy, to agony
to buddhism and pleasure and the
"Oxford Happiness Inventory"
transcendence resplendence omniscence (and other ence words)

i search in the articles
in the free encyclopedia,
written by everyone,
encompassing the whole of human knowledge,
and can’t find whatever it is
i want