Curry and inaugurated presidents

Well today is Mr. Obama’s big day, and I feel sorry for all the poor fucks who are actually there in Washington to see it go down. They invented television for a reason, folks, and it’s so you don’t need to deal with this kind of bullshit: a subway system running at 10x its capacity, ten-degrees-fahrenheit, bridges closed everywhere, and hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of people pressing against you. But hey!

They are just showing it on television and I mean, I get it, I get why it might be neat to be there, but have you Seen This? It’s like a gallon of ants carrying tiny sugar objects back to their hive. “What we basically have down here is a block party,” Ann Curry of Today says. Support! But I like being in my bed.

Ann Curry’s name makes me want curry, which seems pretty insignificant compared to all this madness going on. What else can we say without seeing how things unfold? I’m just enjoying the story. Congratulations, Barack! Enjoy your momentous day and your evening full of appearances at crowded balls! Then get back to being a cool dude.