On Valentine’s
It’s been a while since I wrote. I had an idea last night of what I would write here today, but that mood has gone completely away and been replaced by, unfortunately, a not so pleasant one. Lately, I have woken up exhausted and the mornings have not helped situations. Driving an hour in monotonous traffic and then staring at a computer screen while trying desperately to fill four hours with a very light and easy workload is a strain. I have resorted once more to sometimes running downstairs and crashing in the bathroom. The mini-siesta helps, but then it’s followed by a 30 minute drive home in the warm sun and I get home and want to sleep.
However, two days this week I have woken up blissfully refreshed. The last day I did this turned out to be a disaster. Today has all the makings of greatness, I get to go see Kristen and celebrate her birthday and Valentine’s day with her. I get a 3 day weekend that should be fun. I feel bad that I was unable to find anything amazing for her for Valentine’s Day that would express to her how much she means to me. I have resorted to the smallest of things and my words, which are not good enough right now.
But there is something bothering me right now. Something I can’t, no, won’t discuss here. Not now. Perhaps another time. It is troubling a day that should be golden. It follows so quickly on the heels of a bad dream that was, in so many ways so real, that I had to think about whether I woke in the middle of the night to have the happenings occur or if it was in fact a dream.
We will see what happens. I owe this diary an honest and in depth update of things. Perhaps after this upcoming weekend. Perhaps.
honest update!
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