4/16/03

There’s a child sittin in the corner,

Singin’ bout lettin love grow and grow,

What he don’t know

Ain’t so much,

But everybody tells him it ain’t so.

He sometimes stands and tries to leave,

But there ain’t no way to get away,

So he just passes the day

Singing on,

Though people don’t a care about what he might say.

And I remember the hockey sticks,

That swung and clubbed and shut my lips,

They shut me down and made me sick,

Black and blue with bloody drips

On down my shirt

Just to make me lose my worth….

Just to make me fall,

So they felt twice as tall…..

They’ve got their reasons they will say,

But there ain’t no excuse for what they did,

Beating on a stupid kid,

Who only tried

To hold his hand up to cast a bid.

And some have probably forgot,

All the things they pushed on him,

Just for a whim

That broke him down,

So that he lost that childish grin….

And I remember the dying flowers,

Past on back from unrequited love,

That pushed me on my knees for all those hours,

Tryin’ to find the One above,

And he is blind,

And deaf most of the time,

Cuz he ain’t seen or heard,

All the hits and all the words.

And that child in the corner

Grown-ups made him finally stand,

And sent him home without a hand,

All knew he needed help,

But not a one helped the growing man….

And I’ll remember the songs they sing,

When the kid goes and hides within hs room,

And takes a gun or some evil thing,

And binds himself to his own doom,

For I can try, it’s true

To do the things no one would do

For me….

But I can’t see…..

No I can’t see them all…..

No I can’t see them all…..

And some will stand and some will fall…..

Hope my hands can catch a few…..

Before they do what I sometimes want to do…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you all feel ashamed when you see someone in need and you turn away….someone innocent….someone who you can help. I’m not saying save the world….I’m not saying give your life to saving the world….I’m saying maybe next time you see someone getting pushed on down……help them up and fight the battle with em. Because there’s nothing else left to do but that……

There are kids out there who need us. I sure as hell needed someone.

All those times when I was getting kicked around I didn’t fight back…I took it. Sucked it up because there was no one there who seemed to be on my side. There’s nothing worse than being alone on the side of right when everyone else has accepted the wrong.

And I lost so much. So so so so much.

I think about it all the time and I will never forget that sort of haunting memory of the hockey sticks…never forget the haunting memory of the dying flowers and the turn-downs and the ludicrous reasons and the manipulations and the lies and being called gay and a faggot……