Unhealthy Obsession

OH DEAR SWEET LORD I’M IN LOOOOOOVVVVEEE!!

With who? Well, ok, it will never work because she’s like 34 and she would never date me, unless I got really famous. Anyway, her name is Monica Belluci, the sweetest, most gorgeous Italian actress in all of the FREAKING world. She is my laptop’s wallpaper and my obsession. Yikes.

Anyway, she’s appeared in numerous movies, including Tears of the Sun, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and soon to be in the MATRIX series…omg I’m going to die when I see her cross the screen.

Yeah, it’s pathetic..but oh well, right? I have my rights.

Anyway, a movie review:

Brotherhood of the Wolf (5 of 5):

Now anyone who has seen this movie may just be outraged that I gave this movie a 5, just simply because the movie is incredibly wrong and seems to be the most unstable movie in all the world.

The movie is part romance, part porn, part fighting movie, part horror flick, part drama, part conspiracy movie, part period piece, part political commentary, part true story, part adventure, part fantasy. Yeah. As Roger Ebert aptly called it, ‘a movie that plays like an explosion at the genre factory.’

Secondly, people may complain because there are a ton of characters. Fronsac and Mani are the heroes, there is the witch girl, Fronsac’s love interest, Fronsac’s mistress, the nasty brother of Fronsac’s love interest, their father, the head of the French district, four varying aristocrats, a preacher, a young man who tells the story, a strange healer type guy, the beast, several brothel women, some recurring guys that get the shit kicked out of them, a man on the French Court, a hunter and his troops, a general in the army….and a few others that I’m sure I’m forgetting, all of which play a significant role in the many long-winded scenes with discussion.

But what those who can’t stand the 2:30 hours worth of movie don’t realize is the genious of the film. Firstly, the film is based on a true story but is the first really good movie that hasn’t bothered to put that in, because they did adapt parts. The first portion is completely true, and in fact the only portion of the movie that is untrue is the justified end after the general who comes ‘supposedly kills the wolf.’ The true end of the Beast that plagues the land is just a guess made by the director, but it is one that seems not only plausible, but realistic despite its absurdity. That may seem like an oxymoron or a paradox, but it isn’t. It is a plausible absurdity. Not to mention the ending ties the entire movie together so well that we are left feeling that despite all the varying genres and all the characters, all of them were important in creating the final product. In fact, I think every line that seems to be just a line in there for frivolity has a deeper meaning.

Secondly, the cinematography is FREAKING awesome. The fight scenes, which are the only implausible part as Mani the Indian knows some karate moves, but they are kick ass. The final fight scenes are so freaking awesome I almost wet myself….and then all the characters have a weapon at a time, including the women…which is great.

Anyway, the movie is actually a brilliant work and very true to the novel and I’ve decided I might just take the time to read it.

I’m Lombard in ‘Ten Little Indians.’ I’m also overwhelmed at the moment with all my time sucked up by plays…holy hell it’s difficult. Friday night I’m having a movie night and watching some movies I haven’t seen…which rocks. Woohoo. More movie reviews to come this weekend including:

a) Knockaround Guys

b) Formula 51

c) Anger Management

Got to go study for a test.