Gadzooks! Isn’t that a funny funny haha word.

SECTION 1- BASIC INFO

What is your name? Brad

When is your birthday? July 31, 1983

Are you under the influence of any medication? Nopers

Any convictions? To be an actor/writer/director.

What is your occupation? Sophomore in College

Are you single? Yes sirree.

Any disabilities? Not like real ones….sometimes I’m deranged.

Got insurance? I’m a liability, so yes.

Where in the world do you live? Wicky wicky Wisconsin.

Do you have any surviving family members? Not since my homicidal freak out last week…oh wait…one survived.

SECTION 2- LOOKS

11. Any scars? One on the arm from where I broke it.

12. Any tattoos? Nuh uh.

Any piercings? No no no.

Hair colour? Looks black, really dark dark brown.

Eye colour? Olive Green

Height? 5’11” or so.

What colour are most of your clothes? They’re all sorts of funky patterns usually, got a lot of black and beige.

Any jewellery? Nope.

Any broken bones? Now? No. But I talked about the one I had.

Any horrific body part mutations? I am one big mutation….but it turned out pretty good.

SECTION 3- FAVOURITE STUFF

Favourite band? Collective Soul

Favourite singer? Eminem

Favourite TV programme? Scrubs

Favourite film? Heat

Favourite actor? Robin Williams, Edward Norton

Favourite actress? Julianne Moore

Favourite food? Shrimp

Favourite drink? Dr. Pepper/Alcohol

Favourite word? Maledict

Favourite smell? Women’s perfume

SECTION 4- YOUR HOUSE (ASSUMING YOU HAVE ONE)

What colour is your room? White.

Any posters? Sugar Cult, Play Posters.

Do you have a mini bar? In a dorm room? No.

Any skeletons in the closet? Not physical ones, i bury bodies.

TV in your room? Two of em.

Psychotic garden gnomes? Nope.

Stupid hats? My roomie has a cowboy hat.

Air raid shelters? Yeah, somebody’s going to bomb River Falls.

Where is your computer? Right in front of me, on my desk.

Where do you keep your stash? I buy my stash direct and don’t leave any remainders….

SECTION 5- OTHER PEOPLE

Who would you most like to…

Drown? Gabe

Cut into little pieces and serve to their family for brunch? Gabe…a different one. Everyone I actually know named Gabe, I hate. This one is Richmond.

Feed to starving dogs? David Wattenford

Kiss? Lindsey

Resurrect? My cool self

Make famous? Me.

Make king/queen of the world? Me…duh.

Drive insane? That annoying girl in Ancient Philosophy class.

SECTION 6- YOUR PAST

Answer yes or no

Have you ever…

Faked your own death? No.

Plotted an insurance scheme and got away with it? No.

Danced to a Westlife song? Who the hell is westlife? Oop…broke the rules.

Attempted suicide? No.

Drunk bleach? No.

Dyed your hair? No.

Hacked onto someone else’s website account and screw it up? Yes.

Raided a bin? Yes.

Lied to get yourself out of trouble? Duh yeah.

Faked an illness to skip school/work? Yes.

SECTION 7- YOUR INTELLIGENCE

Name…

President of the USA? George Dubbya aka Junior.

Prime minister? Tony Blair

Winner of Big Brother 3? It finished and I didn’t get to see it? Damn…don’t no. But that would be a sign of laziness and stupidity anyway.

Capital of Luxembourg? Luxembourg is the capital of Luxembourg…mwahaaha…I’m a genius.

Mailman? Don’t have a mailman, we have a large commercial distributor.

Happy man in a red suit comes round at Christmas? Santa Clause, or sometimes the devil in certain cases.

Person that sung “Born in the USA”? Bruce Springsteen, aka the Boss.

Person that played the lead role in Mary Poppins? Why that was…umm….ergh….Julie Andrews! That’s her name.

Two members of 90s grunge band, Nirvana? Dave Grohl and the legendary Curt Cobain.

All 4 members of boy band Blue? Ok, I mastered all the other questions…and without cheating…and you beat me with the last one! Damn boy bands straight to hell!

SECTION 8- WEIRD

Complete these sentences

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch… a condom?

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall… and cried because he had a stupid name.

Merry Christmas and a…bag of chips.

Hit me with your rhythm stick…..Ow.

Little Miss muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her…popcorn and watching the show.

There’s a land far away where nobody goes…because planes are dangerous now and who wants to waste the time.

Let’s hunt him down and…kill him…that’s easy enough.

We ain’t really quaint, so please don’t point and stare… but we have bad grammar so kick our asses.

These are my salad days, slowly being… forgotten, salad, bleh.

Finally… (Pick one)

Death/ life/ birth= Life

Bacon/ sausage /egg= Bacon

Duck /duck/ goose= That’s biased, double ducks? Goose! Ha.

Osama/ Adolf/ Saddam= Osama must die.

Judas/ Satan/ Jerry Springer= Satan, he’s just misunderstood…;)

Knife/ fork/ spoon= Well, this depends on the situation, but I like spoons.

Glass/ china/ wood= China….because it can also be thought of as a country…mwahahaha

Strawberry/ blackcurrant/ orange= blackcurrant definitely.

Dot/ dash/ zigzag= zigzag

This Survey/ Death/ Flowers= Flowers…what type?