Crush

“I shall go on,”

Let me whisper this now,

Within the pale light of the mists,

Frozen through by the invisible rain

That spins on the wind and stings my lips.

I desire something now,

Listening to the haunting trip

Of an echoing song in my head,

Beating through to my dark heart

That beats so soft, I think I’m dead.

To love, to be,

To exist for something more than me

Is the deep desire I shroud

Behind the glistening smile and jests,

Shrouded by the white storm’s clouds.

Out my window the light fights,

To push through the faint grey

Of the Fall storm’s fog, to no avail,

Serving only to whiten the world more,

Such is the quest I always fail.

I’ve lost my beggar’s coat,

It had the moth-holes and musty smell,

But it kept me warm, no more

I left it upon a puddle in the street

To spare the sinking of someone I abhor.

Perhaps I can still find it there,

That may be where my desire has gone,

Shoved in the tiny righ-hand pocket

Of the woolen thing, there hides my love,

A picture of a picture of a locket.

It was encircled with diamonds,

It was beautiful,

That locket I only knew by sight,

Yet still, I could feel it there,

In my coat’s pocket on the right.

But no, I think not,

The wind keeps changing its direction,

And my coat has passed on,

Hopefully settling somewhere soft and warm,

It rests somewhere better now that it’s gone.

I need that warmth,

How can I find it now?

Not the coat, but the warmth inside,

It wasn’t that jacket, it was my heart,

It used to beat with such great might,

Now it’s faded, now it’s dead,

Pumping nothing more than empty air,

Where has my desire gone, where is my love?

Someone that I may adore, for a second, for an hour,

Up close or from afar…..

I’ve lost it, lost it all,

And just when I need it most,

Freezing here in the pale light

Of a misty afternoon as cold as night,

With a heart that’s lost it’s might.

Just like my coat with the locket on the right.