The Assassination Game

The rules are simple….no bathroom kills, no kills inside Rodli Commons, and the only way to enter your target’s room is by tricking them into letting you in…oh…and no kills during quiet hours.

Other than that, all’s fair in the assassination game……and when it comes to ruthless, I’m number one.

As of now I stand at the top of the Crabtree Assassination Ranks with 26 kills. Of course, only seven are actually mine, the remainder are the spoils of war, the heads of assassins who I have killed….and if I die, my killer gets all 26, but that isn’t going to happen, because I have a fool-proof system that doesn’t require insane amounts of time…..I know efficiency is key….. but on to my kills.

Target #1:Kristen Porter

She didn’t even see it coming…..the game had just begun and she was relaxing in her room, door open as I marched on in and wasted her quickly with my trusty sock.

Nothing impressive about this one.

Target #2:Lisa

This one was hard, she took second place in the last tourney that I wasn’t a part of. She was smart, paranoid, and had her friends watching out for her. She varied her scheme and I failed to kill her several times. The first two I didn’t even know I could have killed her, for the rules weren’t made very clear, but I guess killing outside of Crabtree was OK. Thus, I set about to get her. I tried the “package” call, having the onduty Resident Assistant call her up and tell her she had a package waiting, but she was too sly for that, she was also too sly for friends knocking on her door, she let them slip in and out easily, but always cautiously. But returning from lunch, I found her behind me, catching her in a glance. I didn’t turn around, I didn’t chase, instead, I walked in one door and she took the opposite as so she wouldn’t be seen. I slipped upstairs since her way was longer and as she came running, I slipped into a side room and waited, nailing her at the last second……ahhhh….none are a match for me!! mwwahahah….ahem.

Target #3: Jay Brisson

One of my very good friends, but he had to go. Immediately upon eliminating Lisa, I moved downstairs to find that Casey has spotted Jay in the lab. Quickly I raced there and nailed him. Game over.

Target #4: Matt Holida

Matt and I crossed pathes often during day to day travel, yet once he found out I had him, he varied his path and even waited to go to class and arrive later than usual. But I was ready. I sat waiting for him in Rodli, knowing he would pass by on the way to his twelve o clock class, he almost eluded me and so I had to race after him silently, creeping up and getting him.

Target #5: Katie

Katie was not hard, though I expected her to be….she was best friends with my current assassin who I have eluded thus far. I used the package call to get her to come down without Kim and then I nailed her too.

Target #6: Erin

Erin was in her room, door open, nuff said.

Target #7: Lindsey

Holy crap this girl did not want to lose! Since we have to throw the sock at her, not just touch her with it, she lunged at me and tried to wrestle the sock from my hand like a fierce beast…..My arm has red marks from it, but I was able to get it back and then throw it at her so she didn’t catch it. The things I do for 25 bucks.

As of yet, I have not been killed though I have identified my next target, my killer, my killer’s killer, and even my killer’s killer’s killer. I’ve got all the bases covered and I make sure to have Casey follow me around, he’s a loyal and good bodyguard…but it will be difficult. Kim’s got a whole ring of people helping her out and they are very persistent…hell, Jon tried to get her and two of them tackled him so that he couldn’t get her, and these weren’t annorexics by far! He was able to drag them along as he chased her, but the weight was finally too much. Luckily, I know my neighbor’s phone number so if someone knocks, I can call them and ask them to identify whose outside my door. I also live in a hall with a door at the end of it, thus I call them to sneak a peak as well. If I can survive long enough, the prize will be mine…..and I hope I can.

This has been about the most eventful thing happening as of late in my life…..just thought I’d update you…;)